tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-40818605022872670262024-03-13T19:48:31.811-04:00This Life I've FoundLBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06643896920237472344noreply@blogger.comBlogger977125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4081860502287267026.post-48135990951197814732017-10-16T22:49:00.001-04:002017-10-16T22:54:41.168-04:00Writing AgainIt has been two years since I have written here. It feels strange to even be here, as if I have traveled back in time to my earliest years of parenting, when I was up to my ears in babies and more babies and nothing but babies.<br />
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Life is so different now. I am so different. <br />
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Those early years were long days and so much quiet. So much quiet and loneliness and what do we do with all of these endless hours. And I was so young. I am aware that one day, years from now, I will look back on my mid-thirties and think, "I was so young..." but right now this is how I look back on my twenties--I was so, so very young.<br />
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That little baby that I used to write about is speeding towards the teen years. She is ten years old, standing on the precipice of childhood. Teetering here. We are so on the verge of teenager. I hear it in the way she speaks and questions and stretches awkwardly into who she will one day become. She is now ballerina and writer and reader and such a person beyond me. It is the cliche-est of cliches, but where did my tiny baby go. I remember that first night in the hospital, unwrapping her tight swaddle, just to look at her. I couldn't believe she was mine. I felt like I needed to ask permission to even touch her. I was the mother?? How could that even be??<br />
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And ten years later, I am lost in motherhood, drowning in it. I feel like I can mother a newborn in my sleep. Because, of course, I have. The years are a sleepy blur of nursing and baths and swaddles and babies on hips and budgeting. The grocery lists, and ballet shoes, and laundry piles, and multiplication tables, and on and on it goes. I am so very lost. And there is so much we didn't know, couldn't have prepared for. A special needs, "on the spectrum" child. And a fourth baby who rocked our world, but so quickly became our sweetheart. We will say it for all of his days, "what if we hadn't had our Charles???" It is the most unexpected things, the hardest things, that have also been the sweetest.<br />
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But God has used these things to show me, teach me, imprint it on my heart and my mind, that HE is wisdom, HE is compassion, HE is strength, and if I feel lost, well, I must lose myself in him, and HE will make my paths straight. The years have passed, and what I have learned is that I know so much less than I even realized, but I serve a God who has promised that he will give wisdom in abundance, we need only ask.<br />
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He is a good, good father. He loves my children even more than I can fathom. He has planned the details of their lives, and nothing surprises him. He is a God of order, and can bring peace to my chaos. He does bring peach to my chaos. <br />
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<br />LBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06643896920237472344noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4081860502287267026.post-85169801543458587972015-04-26T14:41:00.001-04:002015-04-26T14:41:50.573-04:00Wrapping Up the School YearIt is Sunday afternoon, and I am listening to Evie whine in her bed because she <em>needs </em>to go to sleep, but she slept for a full ten minutes in the car on the way home from church, and she thinks that qualifies for her afternoon nap. Think again, my sweet little toddler. Mama and daddy need some rest time. <br />
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I am also in the process of weaning her. At seventeen months, this is the longest I have nursed one of my children, and I am so very thankful that I was able to keep it up this long <em>However, </em>this child will not take a bottle--never has other than one or two her first week of life. She will drink out of a cup all day long, but come 3 am, she wants me, and only me. Well, Scott and I have the opportunity to get away for a very quick, not even 24 hour, anniversary celebration, IF I can get her to sleep through the night without an early morning feeding. So, this week is operation stop nursing. Plus, I am just feeling ready to move on. One year was my goal, so after that I have been playing it by ear, both willing to keep going and willing to stop, and I am ready now. Ready to move on to the next phase of motherhood. <br />
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We are in a season of wrapping things up. We are wrapping up Evie's babyhood and transitioning into the toddler years. And we are also trying to wrap up the school year so we can fully enjoy the summer months. We have completed the classical conversations year--24 weeks of memory work covering history timeline, history sentence, science, math, latin, geography, and English grammar--and now we are working our tails off to finish Ada's math book by the end of May. I want a full two months of nothing that HAS to be done. Of course we will read --out loud, silently, together, on our own-- but without the pressure of an official school day. <br />
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Part of the Georgia homeschool law is that I am supposed to write a brief synopsis summing up Ada's school year. So, I am going to do that here on the blog over the next few days and weeks, covering each subject that is required by Georgia Law AND all of the extra things that we have done.<br />
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It has been a tough homeschooling year, one where I have more often than not felt so very inadequate for the task before me, so it will be good for me to look back at what we have actually accomplished and to see where we are going in the coming year.LBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06643896920237472344noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4081860502287267026.post-45096207516781115542015-01-21T21:24:00.000-05:002015-01-21T21:24:00.479-05:00Returning to the Gospel, Again and AgainWe've had a hard day. We all have them from time to time, don't we? Nothing specifically went wrong; I just seemed to be unable to get anything done. And the house was a wreck. And I had to remind Ada over and over and over again to sit still and pay attention and get your work done. And sweet Evie pea followed me around the house, undoing any cleaning that I actually managed to get done. By noon, I felt very discouraged, and I couldn't even remember why I was homeschooling in the first place. <br />
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But now, now the day is done, and I am making myself sit down and remind myself why I decided to do this in the first place, so that I can start tomorrow with fresh vision.<br />
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My goal here, which I forget over and over again, is to live out the gospel in daily life with my children. I want them home with me, so that while they are young, I can naturally help them respond to daily living with the truth of the gospel. Today, their room was so messy, and I have told them so many times to clean it, and I just lost it with them. Lost it. And I took a minute, and I texted a friend, and I called Scott, and I prayed. And then I gathered them around me in their room, and I apologized. And I reminded them of the reality of sin and the reality that we live in a fallen world. That the mess and the chaos and the yelling--that is not how it is supposed to be. And I reminded them that as much as I hate the sin and the mess (the mess of the house and the mess of <em>us) </em>that we have hope because God has promised that one day he will return and he will make all things new. It won't always be like this!! AND I reminded them that we also can have hope because in the mean time, God has given us a helper--the holy spirit, to strengthen us in our weakness, to convict us of our sin, to enable us to turn away from that sin. And then we prayed, we thanked God for Jesus, who saw us in our mess and knew we had no way out apart from him. And we thanked God for the holy spirit, who is our helper, and we asked for help. Help us, Jesus!! And we thanked God for the hope that one day he will return and make all things new!!! Hallelujah!!<br />
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And, as I prayed, and as they prayed, John also kept getting up and running around the room and asking me if we were done, and Ada's prayer seemed very half-hearted, and even as I told them ALL of the above, I felt discouraged again. But this is why I have them home with me. Because living the ins and outs of daily life with <em>anyone </em>provides so much opportunity for gospel application. One day, one morning, one hour of this life shows us the reality of our sin and this fallen world. We are a mess, and I want to be here to tell them the answer to the mess. It's Jesus!! And they may roll their eyes or ask if we are done, but I believe that if we keep going back to the gospel over and over again, and if we keep going to his word together, it will not return void. I am trusting that God will use my feeble attempts at gospel talk to change their little hearts. Now, I know that he certainly doesn't need me to change their hearts, but what a privilege if he allows me to play a role.<br />
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My prayer is that he would turn their hearts to Him, and that they would love Him with all of their heart and soul and mind and strength. I pray that they would love His word, and that they would love prayer, and that they would spend their lives surrendered to him, surrendered to His will for their lives. I have them home with me because I want them to know <em>this </em>is what comes first. Phonics and math and memory work and handwriting, all of this must center around the gospel, and so I homeschool. <br />
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Also, I always pray, always, show me if I am wrong. Show me if it would be better if they were in public school. Because, I certainly might be wrong. But for now, this is where I feel he has called us. So, I rest in Him on the good days and the bad days. We run to the gospel on the good days and the bad days. We run to Him. He is always the answer.<br />
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yesterday at CC, learning about Norman Rockwell. <br />
LBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06643896920237472344noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4081860502287267026.post-24660392948793113442015-01-18T20:19:00.000-05:002015-01-18T20:19:29.588-05:00Order out of chaosWell, here I find myself halfway through January of 2015, and no matter how much I try to walk away from the blog, there is always an urging in me to come back to it and record the details of our life. <br />
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Evie is now a year old, fourteen months TODAY, and I am beginning to see through the fog of the past couple of years. My pregnancy with her was a hard one. Of course, there are those who have much harder ones than mine, but compared to my other two, hers was a doozy. I was so uncomfortable and sick to my stomach for the entire pregnancy. Then she was born, and we entered into the twilight zone that is the first year with a baby. On top of that, the particular position that Scott had at Home Depot meant that he was working ALL OF THE TIME. He got home late, and when he did get home, he got his lap top out and worked some more, and we felt like we couldn't ever really get to him. But now, praise the Lord, he is two weeks into a new job that is so much CLOSER to home, and he has much more normal hours, and we are so very thankful. We are also so very thankful for his time at Home Depot. It was a good company, a good job, and it will always be a reminder of how God stepped into what felt like a hopeless situation and placed our feet on solid ground. And I am thankful that Scott is such a hard worker and that he threw himself into that job and pursued excellence there in that position, BUT, I feel such relief with this new job that he has. We all do. In fact, just last week, after several days of Scott being home by six, John said, "mom, do you promise that daddy will always keep THIS job." Bless him, he went to bed many nights this past year without seeing Scott. (I realize that is the norm for so many families who go for months at a time without seeing their husband/father at all, but we are still thankful to see Scott on a more regular basis!). This blog has always been a place where I could record the tangible ways that God provides for our family. Scott's new job is the latest in that obvious provision. I can't stop praising God for it. <br />
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So, here we are, a new year, Evie is now moving into her toddler years, though she has yet to start walking. She is my timid one, it seems. She cruises around, and will walk while holding onto only ONE of my fingers, but she will not let go. I am content with that. She will walk when she is ready.<br />
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I am, of course, still homeschooling. Though, technically, I am still only homeschooling one child. Ada is in second grade, and, praise the Lord, this year has been mostly smooth sailing. Second grade seems to be an easy year--no big learning milestones, really. She is reading independently, sailing through math lessons, doing well memorizing her CC grammar. Another way that God is providing. It has been a hard past year, so for the school portion of it to be easy is a huge gift from the Lord.<br />
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All of that to say, I have been living in survival mode--somewhat out of necessity, and I am ready to move out of that frame of mind. We are two weeks into this school semester (we have spent these two weeks sick, so it hasn't been a great start), and I am thinking through a better system for our day. School has to be a priority, obviously, because I am always aware that Ada is in SECOND GRADE, and sometimes I get that same feeling--like that dream that everyone has, where I am in college and it is finals week and I realize that I haven't been to class all semester!--well, I get that feeling sometimes about Ada. As if she was supposed to start school two years ago, and we didn't start. Really, I know that she is fine, but sometimes it is overwhelming that the responsibility of her education is ALL MINE. I want to make sure that I am being a good steward of these years and this choice to educate my children at home. I want to make the most of it. <br />
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I am hoping--hoping being the important word--that I can start using this blog as a place to reflect and evaluate what is and is not working in our day to day life. I crave an orderly home, and right now, it is more fly by the seat of our pants. Some of that is inevitable during this season of life, but I want to be intentional in trying to find possible solutions for the chaos. <br />
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We'll see. Who knows when I will be back to this online journal of mine. But my hope, and my plan, is that I will return soon.LBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06643896920237472344noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4081860502287267026.post-68973639672745322392014-11-16T22:23:00.000-05:002014-11-16T22:23:28.368-05:00Evie will be one on Tuesday. We celebrated this weekend because during the week there are many nights that Evie is either already in bed or, at the very least, exhausted, by the time Scott gets home, so it made more sense to celebrate early. <br />
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In light of her coming birthday, I sat down last night after the kids were in bed, and I read back through the small handful of posts I have written over the past year. And even though the posts were few and far between, I was so glad to have them to look back on. Upon that realization, I press on with the blog...<br />
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I am not a big birthday party planning person. I am big into celebrating my children, but I get very overwhelmed by the details of a birthday party. I get very overwhelmed by the details of <em>anything. </em>I also put a lot of thought into what my children will remember; what things we are marking as important to our family. And I have realized that what is important to me about any of our birthdays is to celebrate the part each individual plays in our family. So, we have, rather unintentionally, settled into a tradition of having fun family days for each of our birthdays. If one of my children specifically asks for a birthday party, then I am fine with that, but I like to give them a little nudge toward choosing an <em>activity </em>instead. It has become a fun time to go into Atlanta and do something that we would not normally do. So far, to celebrate birthdays, we have gone to the aquarium, the children's museum, the American Girl store, and yesterday we visited Pink Pig at Lenox Mall. Each of those outings also included a fun lunch out in Atlanta. And John has put in a request to go see dinosaur bones for his February birthday, so a trip to Fernbank is forthcoming. I am hoping this is a tradition that sticks because it has become a great way for us to step back from the daily grind and just have FUN together, and it doesn't involve the stress of planning a birthday party (because, like I said, party planning is NOT my strength). <br />
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Because Evie's birthday is November, we thought we could combine her birthday with another Moore family tradition and visit Atlanta's Pink Pig ride at Macy's in Lenox mall. John's first Christmas, we received tickets to the Pink Pig (not being from Atlanta, I knew nothing about it), and Ada has asked to go back each year. It was a fun day, and it was fun to go to Lenox for the day. I have fond memories of Lenox, because when I was first a stay at home mom still living in Atlanta, I realized that Lenox mall is very empty on weekday mornings, and I needed Ada to nap, so I would load Ada into the car, she would fall asleep on the way to the mall, I would put her car seat into her stroller, and she would nap while I strolled around Lenox, practically having the mall to myself. I didn't realize how much visiting the mall would bring back those memories, but I was a little bit overwhelmed by the nostalgia. <em>Anyway...</em><br />
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On the way home from Atlanta, we stopped by Krispy Kreme donuts, and for her birthday, Evie had her first bite of a <em>hot now </em>Krispy Kreme donut. She loved it, obviously. What's not to love.<br />
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Bless her little heart, Evie pea was exhausted by the time we got home, AND we had already had donuts, so we decided to wait until Sunday afternoon for cupcakes and presents. (I confess, the only reason I even gave her any presents was because Ada and John each wanted to give her something. AND a friend gave us a really precious hand-me-down baby doll that her girls hadn't played with, so that was her birthday gift from us). And the only reason I even really did the cupcakes/singing happy birthday scene was because I wanted a picture for the record books. Plus, of course, Ada and John insisted. I had the birthday candle from MY first birthday, and I really wanted a picture of that. So, after lunch today, we put her in her highchair, grabbed the cupcake, recorded a quick video, and snapped some pictures. Evie seemed very overwhelmed, and she wouldn't even touch her cupcake until we fed her some bites with a fork. <br />
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Of course I have many thoughts and reflections about this first year that I hope to blog about, but I feel relieved to have the first birthday celebration recorded. Though struggling, the little blog lives on...LBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06643896920237472344noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4081860502287267026.post-2231598943094804242014-08-27T15:06:00.000-04:002014-08-27T15:06:28.467-04:00In My WeaknessLife is a little bit hard right now. I am not exactly excelling at the job, "homeschooling, mother of three." And there is this voice in my head that always says you can't complain because you signed up for this gig. No one <em>forces </em>me to homeschool. In fact, there is a public elementary school within walking distance of my house. Sometimes I pitch these tiny (and not so tiny) fits because I want that to be my calling. I want to be called to public school. Instead I feel called to classical conversations, and most days I am thankful for that. I really am. It's such a contradiction. In the exact moment that I am crying out to God to give me the energy to get through one more minute because I am so, hang-my-head exhausted, I am also whispering a prayer of thanksgiving that I live in a place where I have this freedom. I have this choice. I just don't feel gifted in these areas. I am not organized. I never felt pulled towards the elementary age. Give me high schoolers, and I feel much more in my element. And in my secret of secret places, I dreamed of teaching at the college level. But here I am, "L says..." with my four year old. And he dumped all gazillion of the rubber bands out on the school room floor today. And Evie has gone back to 45 minute naps during this stage of crawling and putting every single small, choking hazard type object into her mouth. And Ada has developed the habit of rolling her eyes, but when I call her on it, she claims, "I don't know that I am doing it," and I wave the white flag. Evie is nine months old, and I wave the white flag. I am not getting <em>better </em>at parenting three. In fact, I think I am getting worse. <br />
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I think it is a good thing, though, maybe, for my children to have a front row view of my brokenness. Maybe? Because all pretense of having it all together ended a long time ago. This morning alone, I yelled, apologized, yelled, apologized, yelled again, apologized again. And I tell them, his grace doesn't run out. I am going to fail them again and again and again and again and again. He won't. And we keep preaching the gospel to ourselves. I tell them, He did it perfectly. He was the perfect seven year old. He got it right every time. In our place, knowing we were failures, he got it right. And then, in our place, he took the punishment. <br />
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I am exhausted, ya'll. It's exhausting to never, ever have a break from motherhood. But this is what he has called me to do, and I keep reminding Him, "you're power is made perfect in my weakness!" It is my mantra. Because I have never been more weak.LBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06643896920237472344noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4081860502287267026.post-26055974246511997532014-07-25T17:19:00.001-04:002014-07-25T17:19:37.674-04:00Still Choosing JoyI am back to list some more. <br />
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I am thankful for<br />
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1. summer time. We were <span style="font-size: large;">burned out </span><span style="font-size: small;">back in June when we declared that first grade was <em>done, </em>but now after plenty of staying up late to play outside, sleeping in, swimming in the pool and at the beach, and just plain lazing around, we are ready to get back to a schedule. I am thankful that God provides rest. Rest in Him and what he has done AND tangible rest. </span><br />
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2. our homeschool room. It is small, but it is also just right. It is the random little room in our old house that seems picked out just for our school room. The best part--so much natural light to keep our spirits high. No more packing up my school stuff off of the dining room table so that we can eat dinner every night. It feels like a luxury to have an entire room dedicated just to school.<br />
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3. summer produce. Berries and tomatoes and watermelon and peaches, and I could go on and on. An abundance.<br />
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4. sleeping Evie and crying Evie and an Evie who is attached to me ALL OF THE TIME. It is claustrophobic and draining, but it is also intoxicating to have this precious girl. We all love her so much, and she knows it ;) She has an adoring audience that always surrounds her.<br />
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5. .99 iced coffee. Just the thing to get me through a long, sleepy afternoon. And it is just around the corner from my house. On that note, we are eagerly waiting for the brand new chick-fil-a to open "just around the corner from my house." So, lots of little treats close by.<br />
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6. Today specifically, I am thankful for free kids meals for Ada and John--a library summer reading prize. We are going out tonight!!<br />
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I honestly could go on and on. <br />
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OH!! 7. I am thankful for supplements that my mom sent that I just started taking yesterday, and already I feel WAY more energized and my mood is much improved. <br />
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Again, I could go on and on and on... God has given in abundance.LBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06643896920237472344noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4081860502287267026.post-90496770647112906072014-07-22T18:40:00.001-04:002014-07-22T18:40:12.604-04:00Choosing JoyI don't think anyone really reads blogs anymore. I don't really, except to quickly see what is on sale at what grocery store, and does that even really count? It's all about instagram and facebook, right? But this has always been a place for me to put down my stones of rememberance. To force myself to stop and look and see what God is doing right here in my everyday--a record of his faithfulness to me and my crew.<br />
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I am wading through some heavy duty post-partum "feelings" these days as I try to work out an appropriate treatment plan. The medication I <em>was </em>on, only seemed to make the situation worse, so I am now trying to go off of said medication and try a more natural route, via essential oils and supplements. Currently I am waiting on the EOs and supplements to arrive in the mailbox, and in the mean time I fighting some <span style="font-size: large;">crazy </span><span style="font-size: small;">emotions. Lucky Scott ;) Lucky Ada, John, and Evie ;) And lucky my mother who I am currently calling on a daily basis to say, "tell me it's all going to be okay." And, can we all nod in agreement that this dinner time, bath time, fussy baby, fussy mama, will daddy ever be home from work, time of day can do a number on the joyful feelings. Right?</span><br />
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So...I am jumping back into blogging with a little list of things I am thankful for. And I am going to most likely do that daily, not because I think anyone will read this, but because God <em>sees </em>me, even in my mess, and I want to force myself to stop and see that fact. <br />
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Here I go. I didn't even plan to write this many words. I was just going to list.<br />
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1. Microwave bacon marked down at Kroger today. I didn't have one single clue what we were going to eat for dinner tonight, but we did have fresh tomatoes on the counter, and when I saw that the bacon was marked down (manager's special) to 1.50, I knew that it might not be a healthy dinner, but it would be <em>dinner</em>, and that was good enough. BLT's it was. (minus the lettuce. oops, I forgot to buy the lettuce).<br />
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2. I am thankful for those fresh tomatoes. On Saturday, I desperately wanted some fresh tomatoes. And my brain isn't so logical these days, so when we had driven around all over our town, because I thought that <em>surely </em>we would find someone selling fresh tomatoes, but there was not a tomato to be found, I might have cried a tear or two. (I'm not joking. Like I said, lucky Scott). Well, Sunday morning someone brought tomatoes to church to give away. I was home with a sick Evie, and Scott, Ada, and John walked in, home from church, each holding a big, fresh tomato in their hand. Ada said, "guess what, someone was selling fresh tomatoes at church today. And they were free!!" ;)<br />
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God sees me.<br />
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3. I am thankful that mom suggested, because Ann has been trying this, that I require my children to have an hour of quiet time in the afternoons. I have always wanted to enforce something like that, but it felt so impossible to do, but for the sake of my sanity, for the past two days, Ada and John have been required to spend an hour in their room while Evie takes her afternoon nap. Ada has to quietly read for the first 30 minutes, but she can quietly play for the last 30 minutes. John is allowed to quietly play for the entire hour. They are not allowed to come out of their room unless it is an emergency. (I am finding that their definition of emergency and my definition of emergency are two different things). Miraculously--praise the Lord--it has worked really well the past two afternoons, and wow! that quiet hour. It is good for my soul.<br />
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4. <a href="http://shereadstruth.com/"> <span style="color: blue;">She Reads Truth</span></a>. I downloaded this app which has made daily bible study so simple and so easy to do, but at the same time, it is a very rich, in depth study of God's word. I am always desperate for God's word, but I feel especially desperate for it these days. Check it out and download it. It's so great. <br />
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So, there you go. This list is my version of stopping and taking a deep breath and reigning in these feelings that threaten to get away from me. LBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06643896920237472344noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4081860502287267026.post-63112418777849926992014-07-10T10:56:00.001-04:002014-07-10T10:56:41.338-04:00WritingWe--the kiddos and I--just finished a three day parent practicum. Which is just three days of training in how to homeschool with Classical Conversations. With specific training as an essentials tutor in how to tutor on Community Day--Tuesdays for us. The day I get to "play teacher" again and remember the old days. <br />
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What does any of that mean? It means that we are tired. Down deep in our bones tired. Want to crawl in the bed and pull the covers over my head and not come out until tomorrow morning tired. But alas, there are children who do need things from me. So, instead I will drink diet coke and coffee and get on with the day. But I will get on with it, slowly, very slowly. <br />
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I am an introvert. I think? It's confusing because I am drained of energy when I have been around people all day long for three days. I mean, completely, empty of any social abilities, drained of energy. But I also process out loud. So...a combination? <br />
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Let me just paint a picture really quickly of the past days--Ada, my happy-go-lucky, I love life, oldest daughter, practically ran into her daily classroom (geography drawing) with hardly a glance over her shoulder to say, "I'll see you at lunch." This morning she said she wished that "day camp" was all summer long instead of just three days. That was Ada. John and Evie, however, were literally both attached to me at one point. When I tried to drop John off in his classroom, he wrapped both his arms and his legs around my leg, meanwhile, I had a clinging Evie in my arms while I juggled a diaper bag, my tutor bag, and a packed full lunch box/cooler, plus a pointless umbrella stroller that only made Evie cry if I put her in it. I was quite the spectacle. <em>We </em>were quite the spectacle. But, I was surrounded by homeschooling mamas, most with multiple children--many with more children than I have--and they were all quick to help me. So, no one was judging me, everyone was full of grace and full of practical help!!! And God was gracious because my son who hates crowded situations where he knows no one, also loves to play by himself in his own little world, so, for the most part, it all went as well as it could go, with John staying by my side all three days. And Evie slept in my arms a few times, so we survived. I am getting somewhere with this...<br />
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Yesterday morning, I found myself in the "mother's room," where two other moms and I had congregated to nurse our fussy babies and let our toddlers/preschoolers get some energy out away from the auditorium that echoed every sound. So, of course, as women tend to do, we began to talk, and I found out that another mom in there had also been a high school English teacher before she became a homeschooling mom (to five!! her oldest being severely handicapped--I wanted to sit and talk to her forever soaking up advice!). So, we were chatting about English--how much we love British literature, poetry, etc. etc., as she nursed her baby and I nursed mine, and she said, "do you write?" And I laughed and said, "I used to. Before." And we both laughed and the third mom laughed and we made the familiar jokes about, "back when we had time and all of these ideals about what life would look like." But in the midst of the conversation and the jokes, we also talked about the beauty in this--in our children, our nursing babies and birth and getting to homeschool our children. We said there is beauty, even in, especially in, the mess. We talked about why we keep having babies--because it's so hard but it is so beautiful. And, mostly, we talked about God's grace. How he gives us the grace. And I realized that I hate that I don't write anymore. That here in the midst of what is my life and will be my life for a very long time--Lord willing--that I have separated the writer me from the mama me, and can't they be one in the same? So, maybe I will try to write more. Maybe? Maybe I won't; you know how these things go. But there is beauty here to record, and I want to write down the beauty. Some people capture it in photographs and in painting and in a million little ways, and I would like to try to capture it in words. Inadequate words, sure, but it is the process of writing that brings so much joy. <br />
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So this is my attempt to write again. And maybe next time someone asks, "do you write?" I will simply say, "yes."<br />
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Last night, so tired, and she just wanted her mama.LBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06643896920237472344noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4081860502287267026.post-20426659282635686772014-06-03T22:38:00.000-04:002014-06-03T22:38:39.640-04:00Ada and the End of First GradeI have lots that I want to blog about. To record. I always have these thoughts crashing around in my brain, so I am going to try to get them onto "paper" in an organized way, but, let's face it, organization is not my strong point.<br />
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I am starting with Ada. Because she finished first grade on Monday, and that deserves a mention on the blog. <br />
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(dressed for a celebration trip to the splash pad. She is really excited to say she is now a second grader!)<br />
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(oh, you know, just trying to get a picture of all three of them to document our last day of school. And this is how it goes).<br />
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We have come a long way baby, Ada and I. I think about the sweat and tears that we both put into these first two years of homeschooling, when at times I was convinced that I was doing more damage than good and my child would never read. It was my first big test--teaching my first child to read--and I was <em>failing, </em>or at least that is how it felt. And of course God used that, and <em>uses </em>that to reveal sin and idols and all the ways that I wasn't trusting in him and him alone. <br />
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Anyway, here we are at the end of first grade, and she is reading, indeed. In fact, she really enjoys reading and is reading for pleasure more and more and more. And last week, she finished her first chapter book that she read completely on her own, simply because she wanted to. We took a picture, because, hello!! a big moment for her book-loving mama. I so hope it is the first of many books she will get lost in over the years.<br />
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Ada continues to enjoy school, as Ada enjoys much of life--she is a very happy person--but she is definitely not a perfectionist. I <em>was </em>a perfectionist when it came to school, so I over and over and over again have to remember that God has created Ada to be <em>Ada </em>and not just a little me. I pray that he would show me how to best guide and direct her. I want to teach her excellence without letting my sin of perfectionism get in the way. Homeschooling is yet another way that God refines me.<br />
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Let's see--Ada as a student at the end of first grade--we are still working on being still and focusing. She is an active little girl--absolutely overflowing with energy--and it is a challenge (to say the least) for her to sit still and pay attention. But, alas, it is a skill she <em>must </em>learn, so there are times that I allow her to move around and dance and hop while we do school, but there are times that she is required to be still. I often lose my patience over her lack of self control, and so many days end with my apologizing for snapping at her. She is so easily distracted, and it drives me CRAZY, but, again, we are working on it. <br />
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It has been a very fun year as Ada really became interested in a lot of the history we were learning. It has been very rewarding to discuss history with her and look at how, over and over again, history proves our need for the gospel. We continue to love CC, and the longer we are involved with CC, the more strongly I believe in the classical model of education. I can get a little intense about it if I start talking about it, so I won't get into it right now ;) <br />
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We have also seen Ada grow as a ballerina. She LOVES ballet. She literally sits on the edge of her seat if she is watching ballet on stage, and she has stars in her eyes as she dreams of what her future as a ballerina might look like. She talks about pointe shoes all of the time, and constantly practices her arabesques and plies and pirouettes. She also says that when she grows up she will be a ballet teacher. Ada loves being on stage, and ballet does seem to come naturally for her, so we are also excited to see what the next few years will hold, all while praying that God will help us to see all the ways that he has strengthened Ada (and each of our children) and that we will be good stewards of these little lives. We always want to remind Ada (and each of our children) that God gives us good things, but God must always be the ultimate thing.<br />
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It was a doozy of a school year as we began the year in the midst of a rather difficult pregnancy, a move, and then a newborn baby. We have limped our way through, though, and gotten it done. And I end the year with more confidence in who I am and what I believe as a homeschooling mom. Mostly, I am so very thankful that God allows me to do this. That for now, I am home with my children and I get to be right here watching as they grow into the people that God has created them to be. LBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06643896920237472344noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4081860502287267026.post-88302660318105643022014-04-04T22:59:00.000-04:002014-04-04T22:59:58.560-04:00Adjusting<br />
We are all over here in our little world still adjusting and figuring out this new life of parenting three. Actually, I think we have pretty much adjusted and forgotten what it was like to <em>not </em>have Evie, and we have settled back into that stage of things are harder because we have an infant, and everyone else in the family seems fine with it all. I just have these pesky hormones that never seem to settle into any kind of normalcy until I am done nursing, which is still months away, so...there's that. But we're hanging in there and figuring it out and praying a lot and also calling my mom and sister and friends to say remind that this is normal. Tell me that how I feel is normal. <br />
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What to report?<br />
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Evie is still a stinker, waking up multiple, multiple times a night--every two hours? And then every once in a while, just to keep me on my toes, she'll sleep <em>all. night. long. </em>I'm talking 7:00 pm to 6:00 am, and then the next night, back to every two hours. Who knows? And she still only naps in 45 minute increments. Though, again, she likes to switch it up a bit and throw in a long nap every once in a while just to show me how nice it would be if she did that every day ;) But we sure do love her. I can't stop kissing her cheeks and her fuzzy head and her little feet. And in the midst of the hard that comes with parenting, I also still have so many moments of awe that I get to do this. That I get to be their mom. I will say it a million times--what a gift to be their mother. To have these children.<br />
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John told us the other night, out of the blue, that when he was a little boy he used to have a different family. Three brothers, a sister, and another mom and dad. I asked him about his other mom, and he explained that his other mom is different than me because his other mom is never mean. I asked him, just to clarify, if I am mean. And he got this look on his face, like "I hate to tell you this mom, but..." and then he nodded his head yes, so it turns out, if someone asked John to describe me, mean would be one of the adjectives. Also, his other mom has less freckles than me, except he calls them sprinkles. By the way, Scott was laughing very hard as John broke the mean news to me. I made a point to say that I bet his other mom doesn't cook his dinner and do his laundry and find his lost ninja turtle a million times a day. And to that he explained that his other mom took him to toys r us and bought him LOTS of ninja turtle toys. So...<br />
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We are in a good season of homeschooling, where things are going smoothly. I don't take that for granted because I know that our hard season will come around again, but I am thankful for this sweet moment in time. Ada is really loving history these days, and we are reading an autobiography of Corrie Ten Boom, which goes well with lots that we have learned about World War II. This is my first year to begin to see the fruit of classical education, as Ada begins to make connections. She hears the words Prime Minister and asks, "Churchill?" and when she heard in the autobiography that something evil was rising in Germany, Ada answered, "I bet it's Hitler." I love the conversations that are happening as a result of our Classical Conversations memory work. It gives me the motivation to press on in the midst of the hard. And there is plenty of hard, but I want to record the good too. The fruit of our labor. Today, she and John were playing outside, and I went to check on them. They were busy in that bright sunshine playing Corrie Ten Boom, with the back yard gate being the door to their secret room. In that moment, motherhood was going just as I imagined it would go--my children outside, playing together, acting out scenes about historical heroes of the faith...picture music playing in the background as the stars aligned. About fifteen minutes later, they were back inside, mad because I wouldn't let them watch cartoons and Ada settled for reading a my little pony book instead--not the same picture ;) (also, keeping it real, Ada bombed a spelling test today, so there is definitely still hard in the midst of the good ;) ) <br />
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So, life marches on. And I am thankful for where we are. There is lots of hard and exhausting and overwhelming during this season, but there is also lots of good and rewarding and sweet. <br />
<br />LBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06643896920237472344noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4081860502287267026.post-1120584165512437492014-03-04T21:37:00.001-05:002014-03-04T21:37:34.593-05:00John turns fourJohn at four, because how can I not document a birthday on the blog?<br />
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He turned four on February 8th, and celebrated with a stomach virus. Bless him. Scott's parents and niece were here, and we had invited a few families from church to eat pizza with us, but we quickly cancelled that when we realized he was sick. So...he spent his birthday lying on the couch. It broke my heart a little bit. <br />
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But he felt better by the next afternoon, and our little family of five quickly rallied and picked up an appropriately themed cake and celebrated after all. <br />
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At four John is growing up right before my eyes. He is super independent these days. He wants to do <em>everything </em>by himself, and it tries my patience ;) I have to remind myself that I <em>must </em>let him struggle through these essential daily skills if he is going to grow. But goodness gracious the time it takes for him to dress himself or buckle his seat belt or whatever else fills in the blank of things an independent four year old tries to do. He also no longer loves to cuddle with me. He actually reminds me of myself in that way. I am not naturally a hugger or a cuddler and I crave my space. John seems to be that way (unlike Ada!!) At bed time, Scott lies in the bed with Ada and I lie in the bed with John while we read and pray. Well, John wants me in the bed, but he doesn't want me to touch him. And I am only "allowed" to kiss him on the top of his head. I can <em>not </em>kiss his cheek. And one night, after we had a hard day of disobedience and discipline, I was trying to talk to him and have a good moment with him before bed, and he humoured me for a while until he sighed, and said, "can I go to sleep now, mom?" He is my boy, and I already see glimpses of how different that relationship will look from my relationship with Ada. <br />
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Though he can still be moody, he doesn't have the strong feelings that I suspected he would have. Things roll off of him a lot, in a way that they don't roll off of Ada. In fact, I really thought he would have a strong reaction to Evie's birth, but it never even phased him. It was as if nothing had changed. He does still seem to be a major introvert, and prefers home and even playing by himself.<br />
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At four he creates little pretend worlds all the time, usually involving good guys vs. bad guys and things like "saving the day" and "protecting his family," and things like that. He is <em>very into </em>ninja turtles right now, and daily assigns a different turtle identity to each member of the family. Even Evie becomes a turtle. He had some birthday money, and he used the money to buy a ninja turtle. (he had one other one from a happy meal, which is how the ninja turtle obsession began). Well, a few days ago, he mentioned that he couldn't find the ninja turtle, and as of last night, he still hadn't found it, and we were all becoming concerned. I asked him if he wanted to pray about it, and I reminded him that God knew where it was, even though none of us did. So, we prayed about it, asking God to help us find that ninja turtle. Well, today, we were all gathered in my bedroom (Scott was still at work), while I nursed Evie. John and Ada were just sort of hanging out, and John was looking out the bedroom window, sort of absent-mindedly. All of a sudden he very enthusiastically yelled, "my ninja turtle!!" it was lying in the grass in the front yard, and he happened to notice it while looking out the window!!! He and Ada ran outside to get it, and, I kid you not, he had tears in his eyes because he was so excited to have it back. I reminded him that we had prayed about it, and he said <em>very </em>excitedly, "God found my ninja turtle!" I know it sounds trivial, but to his four year old heart, I was so thankful for this very big deal in <em>his world </em>that begins to reveal truth to him. God is big, so much bigger than us, and when he can't find his ninja turtle, he can turn to God about that.<br />
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It's also a big year for John as he shifted from youngest to middle child. He loves Evie so much. All day long he says, "where's my cute girl? How's my cute girl?" And he practically smothers her with his hugs, kisses, and shared toys. Maybe that is the cause of the independent streak--he is stepping into his new responsibility of big brother ;)<br />
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We love our John. We are so thankful for him. With Evie, I feel this need, more than ever, to somehow savor this baby stage--soaking in the sounds, smells, cuddles--you know. (as if it is really possible to soak it in or slow down time), <em>but </em>while I am extra-obsessed with Evie ;), I am also seeing how much fun it is to watch my children grow into their God-given personalities. It's so exciting to see who God has created them to be, in a way that I can't see when they are babies. So, as bittersweet as it may be for the years to pass, it's also really fun to watch who John is becoming. LBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06643896920237472344noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4081860502287267026.post-26285812109266073152014-01-31T15:28:00.000-05:002014-01-31T15:28:04.192-05:00Life(I wrote this on Saturday, but I am just now posting. Obviously, lots of life has happened since writing this...)<br />
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I am so focused on wanting to blog about Evie because right now at our house she is what we are all obsessed with, but in the mean time, life is going on and things are happening that don't directly involve her. <br />
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(a sick John and Evie in a super tacky outfit because she had spit up and been changed so many times that this is all we were left with. On this day they both wanted mom. Only mom would do.)<br />
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She is, of course, always indirectly involved in every single thing. I had forgotten how much a nursing baby controls my life. Today I went to the grocery store, and I had a rather long list. I am back into couponing full swing, plus I am trying to shop for two weeks at a time versus one (other than the "fresh" things that I need to buy each week--milk, produce, etc.). <em>Anyway, </em>I nursed Evie, and sprinted out the door, the clock ticking before I even left the driveway. And I felt panicky because I was gone for two hours. She, miraculously slept almost the whole time I was gone, but that is the exception. She is attached to me, and it slows things down a bit. a lot. I love nursing my babies; I really do, and I am pretty hard core committed to doing whatever needs to be done to make it happen (after our unfortunate nursing experience with Ada, not taking for granted the fact that Evie is a good nurser. it doesn't always work out that way), but there is also quite the sense of freedom when I am done nursing (freedom mixed with sadness). So there is this adjustment going on right now as I am reminded of how very attached to me a baby is that first year (year and half, let's get real). Some days I wish I could find a place to hide. But, also, I love every second of it. So many emotions.<br />
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(Her cheeks. I can't get over her cheeks)<br />
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So, other than the fact that Evie is so very attached to me right now and so much <em>does </em>revolve around her, life does march on as always. <br />
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(My John. He seems so <em>big </em>to me these days! A week away from 4!!)<br />
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There is first grade. I think we are finally in a rhythm, a routine, a this is how we do school in our family versus how I<em> thought</em> it would look. I have heard so many times, been warned by so many articles and veteran homeschooling mamas, "don't try to make school at home look like school <em>at school." </em>It's not the same. Yet, <em>yet, </em>I did have this pretty little picture in my head. Us all waking up at 7ish, doing our morning chores (ha, ha, ha, ha, ha), eating breakfast and getting dressed, and then all sitting down to begin our school day. It was such an orderly picture in my mind. It turns out, that's <em>not </em>how homeschool works for us. I have been fighting that for a while. Instead of just going with what does work for us, I kept trying to make it look like the picture. But, oddly enough, the birth of Evie is sort of what forced me into a routine that is finally working. We just fit it in. We do school all of the time. I mean, we start in the mornings, first thing, some times we have already eaten breakfast, some times we haven't. Ada might already be in dress up clothes--a princess dress or ballet leotard or maybe just her pajamas. And I most certainly am still in pajamas, mascara still under my eyes, but we just jump in. We quickly review our memory work for the week. We do that first thing because it was always the thing that I let slide. I start there because I <em>know </em>that I will get the phonics and the math done, so I start with the hardest thing to swallow. I don't know why memory work has been that thing for us, but now we just jump in, pajamas, unbrushed hair, and all. Then, if miraculously, Evie is still sleeping or back down for a morning nap, I quickly go over all that Ada can do on her own without me--her math facts, her copy work, her math worksheet, etc. etc, and then I sit her down to work on it, while I run get in the shower. If she finishes, she gets to have a break--whatever she feels like doing. Most likely, she will bring things for me to check while I am drying my hair, and almost daily she has to redo something. Ada, it turns out, is not a perfectionist. She is not careful and meticulous--it's just not who she is. So...that usually means she has to redo copy work. Look at a math problem again. That sort of thing. And there are always interruptions. Evie wakes up. She wants to eat (always). John needs me. Laundry needs to be switched out or the kitchen cleaned. So, usually by the time I have showered and dried my hair, it's lunch time. I used to freak out if the majority of our school wasn't done by lunch time. I have let that go, and it's working so. much. better. So, while I cook lunch, we will usually do Ada's spelling list. She might just spell the words out loud, or even sit on the counter and write them on the white board. The point is, we do them. And then we use the time we are eating lunch to read our timeline cards, go a little bit more in depth with something. The point is, I steal little moments to get it all done. It is not at all orderly or organized or anything. The only set things are memory work first thing to make sure it gets done and independent work while I shower and get ready for the day. Everything else we fit it in. There are times that means we are finally finishing up phonics right before dinner, and I am finally okay with that. I am sure, like everything else in life, that every year, every month, every week even, I will learn more and adjust more and figure out more about how to do school. I also find myself more than ever, saying, "Lord, show me what to do." I mean, I say this about everything. Show me what to do about the grocery budget this week--Evie's naps--Ada and John's messy room--and first grade. Show me what to do about first grade. And he does. He directs my steps. <br />
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(she sits in a booster for school, because it puts her at the right height for neat handwriting--fyi)<br />
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And he gives me glimpses of the big picture. Last week we were going over the timeline cards for the week--we were reciting, "Slave Trade in Africa," and then, "The Spanish Inquisition," and Ada wanted to know more about those things. So, (we love our timeline cards), we spent some time reading the back of the cards. I briefly, so inadequately, talked to Ada about slavery, so we talked about sin. And Ada, on her own, noticed that so many of the timeline cards have to do with sin. There is so much sin. And there I sat, talking to my six year old about how history shows us man's condition. We kept turning the cards over to read, and Ada would say, "more sin." And I saw a seed planted, a brief moment of understanding in her face...we are so very fallen. History shows it. And we desperately need a savior. And as frazzled as our days can be, I am so thankful that I am learning side by side with Ada, and that the learning isn't <em>separate, </em>instead, it bleeds into all aspects of our life. It's a gift.<br />
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In the mean time, little John isn't so little. He turns four in less than two weeks!!! And I am not even close to being prepared for that. Through several conversations, I realize that he is expecting a party--oops. I planned on a party <em>next year. </em>You know, when he's five and I <em>don't have a newborn. </em>So, I asked him who he wanted to invite, and luckily, our immediate family was on the guest list, and he even mentioned a friend's dog, so...I do think I have one more year before things get serious ;) But don't worry, our sweet and funny boy will be celebrated, but in a non-stressful manner. A themed cake, pizza, a few balloons, and I think that will be one four year old who feels very birthdayed. <br />
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Oh my word, this blog post is swiftly turning into a book. <br />
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The point? We are adjusting to life in a very frazzled, unorganized, but getting-the-job-done way.LBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06643896920237472344noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4081860502287267026.post-73524875880815799752014-01-18T23:08:00.000-05:002014-01-18T23:08:28.378-05:00Two MonthsLittle Miss Evie is two months today. I can't believe it has only been two months, but also it seems as if time is flying by. <br />
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We are all in love with our Evie. John says all the time through out the day, "is that my cute girl? Where's my cute girl?" And Ada begs to hold her and talk to her and kiss her. We all kiss her all of the time. And her smell. Oh my goodness, her snuggled up in my arms, that little baby bottom sticking out, her fuzzy red hair right under my chin, and the sweet smell. The sweet smell. There are things that are so hard, and I can't pretend that I won't be glad when life is a bit more stable--when routines are established--but <em>at the same time </em>I want her to stay this small forever. She's so squishy and cuddly and funny and sweet, and we just love her so much.<br />
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A few things about Evie at two months.<br />
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She nurses ALL THE TIME. I mean, there is no other way to describe it. She nurses all the time. There is no schedule--she nurses when she wakes up and before she goes to sleep and sometimes in between. I have sort of tried to figure out a schedule, but it's just not happening right now. I think it will all work itself out when she settles into a more normal nap schedule. <br />
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As for naps, she takes several 45 minute naps throughout the day. It never fails, she always wakes up after 45 minutes. I think this will change as she gets older. She's still so little. <br />
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Her nights, on the other hand, I am spoiled, spoiled. She basically sleeps through the night. We have settled into a sort of routine where I bathe her around 7 or 8, then I nurse her in her dark room, and then I rock her for a little while before laying her down. She is usually drifting off at the point but not sound asleep, and she might cry for a few minutes, but that is about it. I usually have to feed her one more time before I go to bed for the night, and then usually again around 4 am. In other words, I am getting a very normal amount of sleep. I am <em>so thankful </em>for the sleep, to wake up each morning refreshed. <br />
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We are getting a few smiles out of her, but she does not give them away easily. And we have just reached a point where she has content moments while awake. Before the past week, she really wasn't very happy when she was awake unless I was nursing her, but we have really turned a corner this past week, and she has been content for up to 30 minutes at a time, lying on the bed looking around or sitting in her bouncy seat looking around. She is such a starer, and she gets her eyes on something and is mesmerized. <br />
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It's already hard to remember what it was like without her in our family! It makes so much sense for her to be here.<br />
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Sweet Evie. Sweet, chunky, Evie. Precious girl.LBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06643896920237472344noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4081860502287267026.post-47320987794598044492013-12-31T21:55:00.000-05:002013-12-31T21:55:46.253-05:00Life with threeI started this blog when Ada was only a few months old. I was freshly home from what had been a career that I loved. Scott and I were still newlyweds really, and we were a bit shell shocked by the way a newborn had shifted our universe. It felt <em>so hard </em>to have that one baby. It <em>was </em>so hard to have that one baby. I was lonely and a bit baffled by motherhood. I missed work. I missed getting dressed every morning while it was still dark outside and driving through the city to my exit. I missed the "careerness" of it, and I was struggling to figure out how to fill the hours. I knew that I wanted to be at home, but I was struggling to find purpose in the constant feed, change the diaper, burp the baby, put the baby down for a nap.<br />
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And here we are, six years later. Six and a <em>half </em>years later, and it is once again hard. But hard in such a different way. The constant feed, burp, diaper changing is now lost in the midst of homeschooling and parenting and budgeting for a family of five rather than that family of 3. And I feel like I hardly see Scott as we are in the trenches of parenting young children and much of life feels like tag teaming rather than running side-by-side. I feel like my voice constantly sounds frantic. Is that Evie crying?! Can you grab her while I finish dinner?! Are Ada and John fighting <em>again?!! </em>where did I put the math work book? It's lost in the gigantic pile of papers that we call the school room. and on and on and on the frantic goes, and it's hard to stop and nurse Evie without it feeling like an inconvenience, much less find the time to talk to Scott or actually <em>think </em>through parenting decisions rather than just reacting to the situation at hand.<br />
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I write all this not to say that this is good or how it should be. Instead, I write it to say that this is the adjusting that is now taking place. Adjusting to Ada meant figuring out what to do with what felt like too much time. <em>way too much time. </em>Silence and a quiet apartment and how do we fill our days? And now adjusting feels like, how do we dial down the frantic? How do we stop running around and reacting to situations and switch to purposeful parenting of three? I know that life can still be purposeful, and I know that much of that will happen naturally as we move out of these early survival weeks into more normal, predictable weeks. I know that I will wake up one day, and we will have adjusted. Which is another thing that honestly makes this adjustment easier. With Ada, I didn't know that we would <em>certainly </em>adjust; it just took time. This time, I <em>know </em>the adjustment will come. Scott and I say that a lot. Think about what life will look like six months from now! a year from now! Not to wish away the time, but to remind ourselves to breath and not panic because this isn't the new normal. It's not. Of course life will be fuller, busier, and yes, more frantic, with three children instead of two, but it won't always be <em>this frantic. </em>Evie <em>will </em>get older. Things will settle down. We will figure this thing out. (With much prayer, of course!!!)<br />
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But, <em>but, </em>the melancholy in me feels a bit of grieving over that quiet apartment, that one baby, and the excitement we would feel when Scott got home from work (at about 5:00 versus 7:00 or sometimes 8:00). It <em>was </em>simpler. And we were so young. Or it feels like we were so much younger. Because, though it felt like it wouldn't happen, we did adjust, and I had all of this time to enjoy baby Ada. Long walks and looking at her and talking to her, and even naps with her. But though there are less of them, I still have those moments with Evie. In the wee hours of the morning when she needs to eat and the rest of the house is sleeping. Or late in the evening when Ada and John are finally asleep and Scott and I can finally sit down and breathe. Those are the moments that I take the time to look at Evie, drink in the smell of her, the sounds. Feel the weight of her in my arms--all curled up in that newborn way with her diapered bottom sticking out. <br />
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So here we are. So different from the first time we became parents, but also so much the same. We are figuring this thing out. I am praying. A LOT. And we are confident that we will survive this and our family will come out on top. <br />
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I always have more that I want to blog. Ada's ballet recital, Christmas, I started weight watchers (because that has been different too!!! It was much easier to lose this baby weight six years ago!!), and just the general information about what Evie is like. So maybe I will get to that. We'll see...LBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06643896920237472344noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4081860502287267026.post-19316855846934803572013-12-09T15:40:00.002-05:002013-12-09T15:40:36.100-05:00Update I want to blog about these early days. These adjusting days. These, welcome to our family, Evie, days. But, there is a <em>long </em>list of things that need to be done each day, and I am somewhat baffled by how to get those things done, so the blog falls <em>waaaay</em> to the bottom of the list.<br />
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In one breath I could say that things are going surprisingly well, and I could also say that having three children is kicking my tail. It just depends on the exact minute in the day which one I would claim.<br />
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Right now, Ada and John are watching a cartoon, which is fine because they have played all afternoon in their bedroom. And Evie is snoozing in <em>her </em>room. And Scott is even here working from home this week. Dinner is in the crockpot. We actually got phonics and math done today. I even cleaned the bathroom (it was high time), and the laundry is caught up. Well, there are a few piles that need to be put away, but it's in good shape for the most part.<br />
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But <em>earlier? </em>Earlier, Evie was screaming, and I had already fed her, so I didn't even really know what she needed. Ada and John both needed lunch, and we had not even begun to think about starting the school day even though it was noon. The shower had been sprayed with cleaner, and then sat there soaking in the cleaner for over an hour because I couldn't get back to it. The laundry was piled on the dining room table, and at one point I had tears rolling down my face as I stirred the oh-so-healthy lunch of boxed mac and cheese. In that moment, I couldn't figure out how to even find the time to breathe with three kids much less do anything else on my list. <br />
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In other words, it's just one step at a time. And we are making it. Sort of.<br />
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Let me do a quick summary of the past three weeks. She's three weeks today!!<br />
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The day I got home from the hospital, I started getting sick. I ended up with a bad case of bronchitis? something in my lungs/deep cough/sore throat/completely lost my voice/ basically did not feel well, and that was completely separate from the recovering from the C-section, dealing with normal post-partum healing. <br />
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My mom was here through Thanksgiving, and then because I was sick and Scott was working long hours at work, I went back to Alabama with her to get one more week done before I had to be on my own with all three. During those weeks with my mom, Evie was basically unhappy unless nursing. When I say she was nursing <em>all the time</em>, she was nursing ALL THE TIME. If she was awake, she was nursing. I was her pacifier, basically. So, this past Friday at her two week doctor's appointment (she was older than two weeks), I said, "what do I do?!!!" And he encouraged me to keep trying the pacie, let her "cry-it-out" for just about 3 minutes at a time, and try to stretch her feedings to every two hours. And we have done it!!! I am sure some of it is that she is now three weeks old, and the pacifier is easier for her, but we have managed to get her on a sort of schedule, and I am so relieved. There was no way I could nurse her that much without my mom here, so I am <em>so thankful </em>that the nursing issue is resolved. <br />
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Now that she will take a pacifier and is on a much more normal eating schedule, I might say that Evie is my easiest baby of all three of my children. Once we got her eating schedule worked out, she immediately began sleeping longer stretches at night--five hours the past two nights!!! She still fights sleep during the day, and usually doesn't settle into a good, long nap until the afternoon, but she really is an easy, predictable baby to be only three weeks old. And, I should add that today she has nursed every hour and half, but I am okay with that compared to the every ten or fifteen minutes we were doing. I'm not kidding.<br />
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Ada and John are adjusting so well. I mean, there have been the normal behavior issues that come with life being disrupted, but I really thought John was going to have a strong reaction to Evie entering the family. He's barely even noticed. In fact, towards the end of the pregnancy, he became <em>so clingy, </em>and now that Evie is here, he is back to his normal self!! Praise the Lord.<br />
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So, all in all, I would say that things are going as well as can be expected. Or maybe even surprisingly well. My emotions seem to be "in check" for the most part. I don't feel too terribly exhausted thanks to the past two nights. And life is continuing on, though at a slower pace than normal. <br />
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I have lots of pictures, of course, but it was nearly impossible to get these words typed. I don't think I can take the time right now to download pictures. That will have to happen on another day.<br />
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Bottom line, we are so thankful for Evie, and I keep trusting that over time, we will figure this thing out. God is gracious to meet me in my needs for this day!!<br />
LBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06643896920237472344noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4081860502287267026.post-13921214950716923342013-11-23T12:30:00.000-05:002013-11-23T12:30:49.649-05:00Evelyn Edith MooreEvie is here! <br />
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She was born via C-section on Monday morning, November 18th, at 8:16 am. I can't believe she is here, yet it already seems like she has always been here. <br />
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This might be a super long post. Forgive me. <br />
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On the Monday prior to the C-section, so November 11th, I had an appointment with the specialist to check on Evie's size. At that appointment, they predicted her weight to be 9 lbs 6 oz. They also saw for the first time that I had an excess amount of amniotic fluid. Because of the excess fluid, they told me that they would need to see me again on the 18th. I was so frustrated because it just felt like there was always some new thing for them to check on. But, anyway, I left that appointment with the information that she was 9'6, with a 10% margin of error. <br />
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I then decided to reschedule my regular OB appointment to Wednesday so that I could meet with someone who would potentially do the C-section if that was the route we decided to go. (The doctor that I had been meeting with was on crutches due to back surgery, and is not currently delivering babies). So, I went to my appointment on Wednesday, with my main prayer being clarity. I prayed lots about the decision, and I decided that God had provided these doctors, and I was going to trust their guidance. At the appointment on Wednesday, the doctor strongly, strongly suggested that I go ahead with the C-section, and I counted that as answered prayer--the decision was made. It turns out that the doctor I wanted was not going to be on call any this past week, so I chose another doctor, and the C-section was scheduled for Monday morning at 7:30. I was so relieved that the decision was finally made. To say that I had analyzed the decision to death is an understatement!! For weeks I had been weighing the pros and cons, so to move forward with a decision was a huge weight lifted.<br />
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Now, obviously, there were advantages to that decision. The big one being that I could plan everything. My mom and my sister Sarah arrived Saturday, Scott was able to arrange for time off from work in advance, Scott's parents made plans to get to the hospital on Monday, we were able to enjoy a last fun night out as a family on Friday night, etc. etc. I was trying to really look at the good things about the C-section.<br />
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My nerves were on overdrive by Sunday night of course, and I slept maybe 3 hours that night, despite going to bed very early. We had to be at the hospital by 5:30 on Monday morning, and it felt a bit like Christmas morning, with some fear mixed in ;) I mainly prayed for peace. Or, begged for peace might be more accurate. <br />
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leaving for the hospital. That big baby still tucked into my tummy. So glad she is out now!!</div>
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After we got checked in to the hospital, and the nurses began hooking me up to everything, I admit I did have a moment of overwhelming panic. I kid you not, I thought I might just bolt from that bed, and take off running as fast as I could from that hospital (which would have been really slow considering my hugely pregnant self). Then, the nurse accidentally "blew a vein" (proper terminology?), when trying to put in the iv, which then caused me to throw up, and then after the throwing up, I calmed down. Blessing in disguise? I think so. I felt so much better after that. Ha. I promise I kept thinking if I am panicking now, how in the world will I make it through the C-section? So the vein situation and the throwing up was a huge answer to prayer, and then I was super calm. Everything was pretty much on schedule, and by 8:00 the doctor was starting the surgery. The insane calm stayed with me up until they actually got Evie out, which I was so thankful for, I mean, I couldn't stop saying thank you, Lord, over and over in my head. <br />
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at the hospital, getting ready to check in. The doors were locked, so we had to wait for about ten minutes outside. a little crazy.<br />
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Scott getting ready for the operating room. We were laughing so hard at his "get up."<br />
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And she's here! After what felt like an eternity, I finally got to see her. Scott got to see her before me, so he took some pictures and showed them to me before he finally got to bring her over to me.<br />
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not enjoying the C-section at this point ;) They told Scott he could go with Evie to the recovery room, and as he was about to walk out, I grabbed his hand and said, "stay!!"<br />
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And we both made it to recovery, and I am so happy and relieved to be there! </div>
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Things did take a turn after Evie was actually out and they were sewing me up. I won't go into the details, but suffice it to say, I didn't like the C-section at that point, and I think I was having a minor panic attack or a reaction to the anesthesia or some combination of all of the above. But, the thing is, it was all so quick. I mean, a vaginal delivery can get a bit like that too--painful, panicky, etc. etc.--and then it's over, and it was so quick, and you have this baby. This beautiful, miraculous baby. So, in hindsight, the C-section was so not bad. Really. It was SO QUICK, and there I was in recovery by nine-something with my beautiful baby. Plus, by then, ten minutes after surgery, the anesthesiologist had put something in my epidural that made me blissfully numb, and I was euphoric over my new baby.<br />
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It is the most blissful thing in the world to see that baby for the first time, isn't it. I mean, I saw her in the operating room for a brief second, but to be there in that room with her, and the nurse handing her to me, and nursing her for the first time. It is magic and a miracle and a gift, and I can't believe I got to do it for a third time. Thank you, Lord, for undeserved gifts. At one point in the operating room, I looked at Scott and said, "never again. I will never do this again." Then thirty minutes later with that brand new life in my arms, I looked at Scott and said, "I could do this a million times." <br />
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I will stop there. I want all the details recorded. I do. For me, for Evie, for the record of our little family. So, I will be back with more. <br />
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I will end by saying, I just adore little Evie. Just like I adored Ada and John and still do. But, the sweetness of those newborn sounds and faces and the way her little body just curls up. It's too much. <br />
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By the way, she was 9 lbs 2 oz, 20 inches long. Precious girl.LBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06643896920237472344noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4081860502287267026.post-35391827823769170242013-11-10T21:24:00.000-05:002013-11-10T21:24:11.306-05:00Evie's RoomTomorrow is my final ultrasound with the specialist. I can't wait to see what she weighs--woo-hoo for being so near the end! My body is<em> over it!!!</em> 38 weeks tomorrow.<br />
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We put the finishing touches on Evie's room this weekend. I actually have two framed pictures of my grandmother to hang in her room, but my mom will bring those when she comes for the birth, so that will be the actual finishing touches. I assume that the bedroom will be Evie's for at least two years before we switch her with John, so I've got time ;)<br />
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Here are a few pictures.<br />
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okay, in an ideal world, almost every drawer that you see in this room would have cute knobs. I haven't gotten around to that. Again, we'll call it a work in progress. Plus, the chest of drawers, rocking chair, and cabinet that you will see could all use a fresh coat of paint/distressing, but it is what it is. Maybe it will get done on the other side of very pregnant/newborn sleeplessness. We'll see. <br />
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Here we have the crib I found on craigslist, and her bedding that I ordered from amazon using birthday gift cards. The chest of drawers started off with my parents and then went with me to college. It's seen a lot of miles. The wooden basket was a gift from my best friend, Amy, when I was pregnant with Ada. Both lamps were purchased from Home Goods, my only real purchase in the room other than the crib. <br />
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Oh, I did purchase the initial sticker hanging over her crib. I "stalked" jane.com (do ya'll know about this daily deal site? I love it!!) until I found what I was looking for. So I got that for super cheap.<br />
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The iron bed was my bed when I was little, and my parents graciously passed it on to us when we got married. It has served as both Ada's bed and the master bed, but it will now serve as the guest bed. I hope to one day purchase a similar iron bed before Ada and Evie are sharing a room, so that they can <br />
each have one in a shared girl's room. That is my "vision," anyway. The bedding on that bed is straight from our old master bedroom. As is the night stand. The rocking chair came from Scott's parents, and we used it in Ada's nursery. The curtains were hanging in the living room of our last <br />
house. All of the art work started out in Ada's nursery. And the white cabinet came from Scott's parents, and it was originally in Ada's bedroom in our first house.<br />
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We did not paint the walls, because it is, after all, a rental, and we weren't ready to make that commitment. I also tried to get a better picture of her bedding here, but basically it's white with gray trim, and the crib skirt has small gray polka dots.<br />
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you can't really see it, but hanging above those drawers is a cute little framed print of Evie's name that I received at a shower this past weekend.<br />
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yay, yay, yay for diapers from the baby shower!! I felt very loved and thankful this past weekend as friends gathered to celebrate Evie's birth. And beside the rocking chair is another baby gift from a dear friend--a new gray and white diaper bag. I can't help it, I really like gray and white together ;)<br />
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I am especially thankful for this room because when we found out that I was pregnant with Evie, we were prepared to squeeze her into the last rental house with no real space to call her own. I mean, I wasn't even sure how she was going to fit into the master bedroom with us. So, I was overwhelmed by God's provision last night when I sat in that rocking chair and looked around at her very own room. <br />
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I was also taken back to sitting in that same rocking chair in our Vinings apartment as I waited for Ada's arrival. It seems just yesterday that we were newlyweds, barely past our one year anniversary, waiting on Ada. Now we are waiting on child number three. I am sure it is hormones from the pregnancy, but I felt a bit emotional as I thought about the fact that it's been SIX YEARS since we were waiting on Ada. So, so, so cliché, but where did the time go?!!! How did we get here?!!!<br />
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As tired as I feel, as stretched thin as my body feels, I also feel so thankful that I am doing this again. Waiting to meet my child. There is nothing like it. The anticipation, the necessity to trust the Lord with every detail, the imagining what it will all be like. One day, this season will be over, and I want to soak it in. <br />
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And I'll post the pictures of my grandmother that will also go in the room. As I already mentioned in a previous post, Evie's full name is Evelyn Edith after my maternal grandmother, Edith. I asked my mom for a couple of pictures of my grandmother, Edith, as a young mom, and my mom went a step further and had the photographs framed. They will be my absolute favorite part of the nursery, as they will remind me of the generations before--that there is purpose in what I am doing--it's not just about me, or even just about Evie, it's about generation after generation. Lord, give me grace to do this thing you have called me to do!! Give me eyes for the eternal!!<br />
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Above, Grandmother with my mom and Mary Ann, my mom's sister, whom I am super close to.<br />
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And my grandmother with my mom. LBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06643896920237472344noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4081860502287267026.post-53924603372650644402013-11-07T15:31:00.001-05:002013-11-07T15:31:20.049-05:00Quick Pregnancy UpdateI am feeling super encouraged because today at my 37 week/almost 38 week doctor's appointment, my stomach had not grown any from last week, and the midwife spent a long time "pressing and poking" on my stomach to try to guess Evie's size. She guesses 8ish lbs, so I am thinking the growth has slowed <em>way </em>down. Just a few weeks ago, my stomach was measuring five weeks ahead, and today it was only 2 + weeks ahead, with no increase from last week. I can handle anything less than 9 lbs, so maybe all that 10 lb talk is not going to happen. Woo-hoo. <br />
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I do have my final ultrasound on Monday, so we'll see, but I am feeling good about waiting this thing out and just going into labor with no more C-section talk. Praise. the. Lord.LBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06643896920237472344noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4081860502287267026.post-29104117114493646782013-11-06T08:21:00.000-05:002013-11-06T08:21:30.801-05:00Lately<div align="left" class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Okay, these pictures are not in order, but I am just going with it because I am doing good to get them on here in the first place. And then I will feel caught up on what has been going on in the day-to-day of our life. </div>
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Here we have a mixture of Halloween and a quick weekend trip to Scottsboro. I was excited about Halloween this year because I thought we were finally in a trick-or-treating type of neighborhood. Wrong. We were the <em>only </em>trick-or-treaters in our neighborhood, and as a result, there was a very small handful of houses that were even handing out candy. It's a perfect neighborhood <em>for </em>trick or treating, but I guess these days it's all about the fall festival. I just didn't have a big fall festival in me. As it was, walking around our neighborhood wasn't the easiest thing in the world. But we trick-or-treated, and it was great to meet the handful of neighbors that we did meet. Many of them knew exactly which house we were because they all said they had seen our children playing outside. It's the hugest blessing in this house, my children play outside by themselves <em>all the time</em>, and I am so thankful. John is eating better as a result (so much more exercise!!), and I think it helps them to go to bed easier. I mean, it's just so <em>good </em>for kids to be outside, right?!!!</div>
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so far, our Halloween costumes consist of digging through the dress up box. Well, I did purchase John's costume on clearance at Old Navy, but in a size too big, so that it can be worn for a couple of more years. I like the friendliness of trick-or-treating, but I am just not going to go all out for Halloween. I am sure at some point my kids will have stronger opinions about what they want to be, but so far they have never argued with my, "look in the dress up box," philosophy. Ada did change her mind about seven times, but we finally settled on a ballerina/fairy? Her main requests were a high bun and make up--done and done.</div>
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John <em>would not </em>cooperate for pictures. I kept saying, "don't you want to stand by Ada?" he did not.<br />
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the night before Halloween, we carved a pumpkin for the first time. I called Scott on his way home from work and said, "guess what, Ada is counting on carving a pumpkin." So, he did a quick run by Home Depot, and we fit in a pumpkin carving. Our hearts weren't totally in it, but Ada loved it, as she tends to love these kinds of ritual type things, and I even roasted the pumpkin seeds, which were yummy.<br />
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posing in scary poses (I guess?) with our half-hearted jack-o-lantern<br />
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this is just a random picture that has already been on facebook and instagram, as have most of these, but it's such a snap shot of John's life right now. He is <em>so </em>the little brother who just follows Ada's lead in their daily playing. She wanted to play Wizard of Oz, and he was the lion, naturally ;), and if Ada was wearing high heels, shouldn't he? Bless him. He is such a little boy, but he is also such a little brother to a big sister.<br />
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my one and only picture from our quick trip to Scottsboro. My sister Kate was home from New York, and I never see her, so we did a quick weekend trip. Here Ada and Abigail are having some strawberry milk before bed one night. Plus, nothing beats north Alabama in the fall. That drive home through Mentone, AL is so beautiful. I always like to try to squeeze in an October trip home just so I can see the colors. My part of Georgia just can't compete.<br />
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and finally, John in character. There was a question on facebook about whether this was John having a meltdown or what. This is actually John's monster face, which is hard to distinguish from John's meltdown face. Both are a bit "monster-like." ;) And there you go, October happenings.<br />
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Next big event--the newest member of our family coming very soon. I am having a several strong contractions but nothing that will settle into any type of pattern, and this could easily go on for three weeks, so praying something happens <em>soon. </em>Monday is the final ultrasound to check her size, and that means decision time. Yikes. Come on, Evie, just come on out. LBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06643896920237472344noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4081860502287267026.post-77825966274177466082013-11-04T22:29:00.001-05:002013-11-04T22:29:45.862-05:00Pressing On in First GradeI guess I haven't really said anything about first grade since our first day of school. It seems it is high time for an update, as the school year is flying by, and first grade is important, after all. It is certainly something to record in the books. <br />
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It is amazing the difference I see in Ada at six years old versus five years old. She will always be my first born, so she will always be the one I learn on. Obviously, I will learn so much with all of my children, but so much is unknown with the first--the doubts are greater, the confidence less, there is no experience to back up anything. So, when Ada, unlike her cousins and many children around her, didn't absolutely take to reading at age five, (And she <em>didn't. </em>It was a struggle last year, as you all know.) I immediately assumed the worst. I wrung my hands, searched for answers, analyzed to death, prayed, and then worried some more. What was I doing wrong? Would she never read? on and on and on the thoughts went. But I now know, that she just wasn't there yet. I mean, I also know that she needed more in depth instruction, and I am thankful for Saxon Phonics, as it was a HUGE answer to prayer. But I also firmly believe that she just wasn't ready. At six, she is taking off with reading. This is her year. We still faithfully do our phonics lesson, and she even still struggles at times with the vowel sounds, but on we go. And more and more and more she is reading books and words that we haven't even gone over yet.<br />
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(reading to me while I made lunch)<br />
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Please hear me say, though, that we still have very frustrating days. Where I want to pull my hair out. And scream. And I lose all patience, and I apologize, and we keep on keeping on. <em>But </em>if one day John or Evie is struggling with reading, I hope that I can take a breath and know that we will get there. And worrying won't get us there faster. <br />
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We are also doing Saxon first grade math, which at this point in the year is very, very easy, and is more of a kindergarten level than first grade, I think. Or so I hear from other moms. I suspect it will get tougher as we get farther in the book. Right now it is very nice because we never have to struggle our way through the math lesson. We breeze through, get it done, and move on. That is a huge blessing during these final days of this pregnancy. Easy is a welcome thing!<br />
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We are still finding our stride when it comes to getting our CC review done. Some weeks we are on it. As I get larger and more uncomfortable, the weeks where we struggle to get it done definitely outweigh the weeks where we get it done. The good news is that age six is also helping us with this. Ada is now in her third year of CC, and memorization is becoming more second nature to her. Even though this is a year of pregnancy and soon new born, she is still committing that timeline song to memory, which in itself is a huge accomplishment. If that is all the history she got this year, well it would be more than I had in all of my school years. Even little John is beginning to sing along with the timeline. This is also her third year of the same math facts, so those are becoming more second nature. The point, it's true, if I trust the "system" of CC, it really does work, even when I am feeling like a slacker mom. I think our latin and English facts are suffering the most, I am ashamed to say, but the good news is, we have the same latin facts next semester, so maybe we can catch up then. We are also behind in our bible memory work, but we have finally gotten into a good habit of starting each school day with bible verse and history sentence copy work. So, though we are behind on the bible verse, we finally have a system, and I think we can catch up before second semester begins. <br />
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*I started this a week or so ago, and now I am finally back to try to get something posted. I have actually declared this week a holiday from school for us as I tackle the list of things that must be done before Evie arrives. The countdown is on as we are looking at a little over two weeks at the most. Luckily, we still have CC to listen to in the car, so we are reviewing even on our "holiday," and Ada continues to take off with her reading, so she eagerly reads to me each day, which is really the most important thing for us to not slack off on. I am prepared to go way into the summer this year in order to finish, as it is the year of a new baby, after all.LBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06643896920237472344noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4081860502287267026.post-74710165168647802602013-11-04T22:06:00.000-05:002013-11-04T22:06:41.444-05:00Night With AdaThe other day, Ada reminded me that way back during first trimester, when I was barely functioning because I felt so sick all the time, I promised her that when I felt better, we would have a special day together.<br />
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The problem was, though I certainly feel better than I did back then, I never had a moment this pregnancy where I felt good, so we kept waiting...and now we are two plus weeks away from the big day.<br />
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It was time to just bite the bullet and have a day with Ada. (which actually turned into evening with Ada instead of day).<br />
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It was so cute, because naive me was picturing us running to Target together because I had to run some errands, and we would leave John at home with Scott. However, when Ada walked into my room dressed in one of her church dresses, I realized that she had a different vision for this night. I did manage to tone down her outfit, but she still insisted that we "eat somewhere fancy, not McDonalds or Burger King or anything," and she specifically wanted me to say, "table for two, please." She way outdressed me that night. I am to the point of putting on whatever will still cover my stomach. I am horrified that my stomach will be showing in public and I not know it. My options are <em>very </em>limited. So, I had on my favorite yoga pants and flip flops, and Ada had on a (less fancy) church outfit. <br />
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It really did end up being such a special night. We ended up at a Mexican restaurant, and she talked non-stop. It so nice to be able to focus just on her, and she was on her best behavior because she was feeling so grown up. We followed dinner with a trip to Target and finally a run through the Starbucks drive through. I was so exhausted at that point, but it was oh so worth it. As we were finally headed home she said, "this night was not what I expected, it was even <em>better </em>than what I expected." It broke my heart a little bit because it was so clear that I need to do things like that more often. Who knew it would mean so much to her. My precious first born. <br />
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A few pictures, which John insisted on being a part of. I am <em>so very pregnant, </em>but why refuse to be in pictures because this is how we will remember this time. I really am that big, and my children really don't care if I am huge, so I take the pictures anyway, to remember these last days before we add another member to this family.<br />
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LBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06643896920237472344noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4081860502287267026.post-47599749738083912872013-10-23T08:20:00.000-04:002013-10-23T08:20:25.834-04:00Pregnancy UpdateI am posting twice in one morning. What?! I am facing an entire day AT HOME--praise the Lord, so I have time to lounge around a bit more this morning. Plus, the kids woke up about an hour earlier than normal, but they slept ALL NIGHT in their own beds--again, praise the Lord--so there is just more time this morning, and I am taking advantage before I start on my list of to-dos.<br />
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I thought I would post a quick pregnancy update for the record books. This is, after all, serving as Evie's baby book. (and John's, by the way).<br />
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I went to my specialist for the last time this past Monday. Or what I thought was for the last time. The really great news, the most notable news of all, is that Evie's kidneys are just fine!!!! I was seeing the specialist because her kidneys had been slightly enlarged at her 20ish week ultrasound, and they had continued to be slightly enlarged at each specialist appointment after that, but this week they were NORMAL. Hallelujah, thank you, Lord!!! That was the best case scenario, that it would just work itself out and that would be that. I am so thankful that it is now a non-issue. <br />
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What is also notable, however, is that based on the specialist ultrasound, at 35 weeks pregnant, Evie weighs 7 lbs 14 oz-- bigger than either Ada or John were at birth!! Yikes. I asked the specialist how accurate that is, and he said it can be up to 10% off, so maybe only 7 ish lbs at 35 weeks, or, possibly, already over 8 lbs at 35 weeks pregnant. He also pointed out that my fundal height measurements (sp?) are consistent with her weighing that much. As in, at 35 weeks, instead of measuring 35, I measure 39. Again, in previous pregnancies, I have always measured right on target. And I am consistently measuring several weeks ahead at each appointment. So...the doctors are somewhat concerned about how big she will be if I actually made it all the way to my due date. The word C-section is being thrown out there. I KNOW that there are a million opinions about <em>that, </em>but it is just out there right now, no decisions have been made. The specialist actually wants to see me in three weeks to check her weight. It helps that I am seeing a regular OB and a specialist, so this is all based on two separate doctors--two separate practices--two separate opinions. But the opinions are consistent--it all matches up.<br />
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Here is what I am praying, that I would go into labor early. As in really early. I have to decide about a C-section at 38 weeks, so if I went into labor at 37 weeks, it wouldn't even be an issue ;) I know that most people don't go into labor at 37 weeks; really, I know that. But she is big, and I am feeling her largeness. And I had both Ada and John at 39 weeks, so it's not so crazy. She is head down right now; in position. At the ultrasound, the ultrasound tech showed me how she is going through the motions of breathing, which babies do at the end to get their lungs ready for breathing, and the ultrasound tech said that is a good sign. <br />
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Of course, mostly I am praying for a healthy baby and a healthy me ;) And the doctors keep reminding me that Evie is so healthy. She is just big. And of course I don't want a C-section, but I am okay with it if it comes to that. I have known for several weeks now that it is a possibility, so it's not new information for me. I have had time to process and pray about it and prepare myself. But, in my ideal world, I would just go into labor. My body would "do its thing," and I would get this baby out. It's what I am praying for, anyway.LBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06643896920237472344noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4081860502287267026.post-57163262228103574082013-10-23T08:05:00.001-04:002013-10-23T08:05:14.430-04:00I am in those last weeks of pregnancy, the in between phase, the I'm done but there are four weeks to go phase. I shuffle and waddle from here to there, in some constant state of contraction or shooting ligament pain or desperate need to get to the bathroom as Evie kicks on my bladder. You know these weeks. The baby is huge and out of room, but needs a bit more time to fatten up (or in Evie's case, grow into a toddler ;) ), and my five foot frame is done, over it, and I would gladly drive to the hospital and say, "get this baby out," but I know that's not in the cards, so on we go. I am thankful for a healthy baby, a healthy pregnancy, and that the finish line is in sight. My kids are also over it. John has suctioned himself to my legs, my side, and if he can possibly finagle it, my arms. He wants me in his line of vision at all times; no one else will do; and between him and "big" Evie, I am feeling a bit claustrophobic. I assume he senses that big changes are on the horizon. Or maybe he wants his normal mom back. The non-giant mom who can easily walk and run and get around and bend down and <em>do things. </em>He's probably feeling a bit of what I am feeling. <br />
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But I keep attempting to do normal things in hopes that it will make life seem stable for the kids as we all brace ourselves for the shift that is coming. The inevitable growing pains that accompany adding another member to the family.<br />
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For example, this past weekend Scott's parents were in town. Which was a huge help. Scott's mom entertained Ada and John and washed dishes and helped me in all sorts of ways. But we also took a trip to a local pumpkin patch. It's fall after all, and for one six year old and three year old, fall traditions must go on no matter what state my body is in. So, I waddled and shuffled myself around Southern Belle Farms and "got the thing done." It was a good and fun day, though <em>hot. </em>I always picture this dreamy fall day with breezes and boots and cider. Ha. It was more like guzzling water and sweating buckets and sun burned cheeks. But I hear promises of fall-like weather headed our way? Maybe?<br />
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A few pictures. There wasn't enough time or energy to do all that was offered. But Ada and John loved it. Ada is all about building up some excitement for an event, and the pumpkin patch was no exception. And by pumpkin patch, I mean farm with lots of fallish activities. We actually bought our pumpkins at Home Depot. At our "pumpkin patch," the price of admission (HIGH price of admission, in my humble opinion) does not include a pumpkin. <br />
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In typical John fashion, he was super intense about this rubber duck race "thing" (?). I mean, <em>intense. </em>And he absolutely did not want my help, no matter how hard he had to pump that red handle. In the mean time, in <em>her</em> typical fashion, Ada was flitting around from activity to activity, while we waited for John to be convinced to walk away from his obsession.<br />
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*I had more pictures than this, but I am having trouble downloading and time is passing. This now happened two weekends ago, so I am posting. And the fall weather is here--yay!! LBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06643896920237472344noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4081860502287267026.post-44990947913314807452013-10-09T18:46:00.001-04:002013-10-09T18:46:26.755-04:00A Sleep Situation At Our HouseSo, I need to provide a little background information.<br />
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When we first moved to our last--tiny--house, John was not even two yet, and he and Ada were going to be sharing a room for the first time. On top of that, the way the rooms flowed in that house, noise traveled everywhere. All the rooms were basically attached to each other, and you just walked from room to room to get around the house. I assume that is a 1940s thing? Anyway, I prayed and prayed and prayed about the sleep situation because I knew that would be our biggest obstacle when we downsized to that house.<br />
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So, we began by putting John to bed, just a toddler, in his and Ada's room, and we would do stories and prayer time with Ada in our bed. She would fall asleep in there, and Scott and I would move her after she fell asleep. That worked well for a long time, but then John started to get older, and it made sense to begin doing bed time with both of them in their bed room. John was old enough for stories and prayer, and we thought they were ready to get used to going to sleep at the same time. That also worked well for a long time.<br />
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Well, somewhere along the way, Ada began having bad dreams, and she would come get in our bed in the middle of the night. Our full size bed. Not King. Not even queen. Our full size bed. The thing was, I would be so tired, that I would just let her, not really thinking about it, until I started to get sort of pushed out of the bed. At that point, instead of doing the logical thing of making her go back to her own bed, in my state of sleepiness, I began walking the few steps over to Ada and John's room, and I just climbed into her bed, and she slept the rest of the night with Scott. Seriously, our bedrooms were practically attached, so I would barely even wake up to do this. Sometimes I didn't even remember doing it. It became a habit. A really bad habit. So, when we moved to this house, and Ada and John were now in a room <em>across the house </em>from us, I thought the problem would work itself out. It hasn't. Except that in my large, very pregnant, so much pain when I go from lying to standing, situation that I find myself in, that walk across the house to get into Ada's bed is no longer done while I am half asleep. I am wide awake. And waddling. And in pain. And, because it's the middle of the night, angry with every other person in the world who is soundly sleeping ;) <br />
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So, one day, with Evie's birth on the horizon, I put my foot down and said, "No more!!" Everyone is sleeping in their own bed. This is ridiculous. So, with Scott on my side, we made this declaration. And so far, this is how it goes. <em>At least </em>four times a night, I hear little foot steps coming into our room, usually about three of those times it's John, and the last time it's Ada. And each time, I have to very violently ;) shake Scott out of his sound sleep to get him to carry said child back across the house to their bed. If it's John, he is in absolute hysterics that it's not me putting him back to bed, so I waddle behind Scott and John--on average 3-4 times a night--to get everyone back in their proper place. Well, two nights ago, I had been awake 5 times!!! throughout the night (one of those times just to use the bathroom, which by the way, I go to the bathroom every single time the kids wake up), and the last time, I just didn't care any more. When John showed up beside my bed, I said climb on up, and across the house I went and climbed into John's bed, and I finally got a good two solid hours of sleep. But I was not happy when the next morning I woke up and I had been awake five times in the night. <em>Five times!!! </em>That's a bad night with a newborn!! And Evie isn't even born yet. <br />
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But, I am trusting, because it's the way these things usually go, that if we just keep on keeping on, and putting our foot down, and making the trek across the house to put the child back in the bed, that eventually we will all sleep through the night in our own beds. And one day this will be a distant memory.<br />
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Just in time for a newborn to rock our world ;)LBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06643896920237472344noreply@blogger.com1