The Day to Day

One of my favorite times of the day is when this little guy is so clean and wrapped up in a hooded towel.  He smells so sweet, and he feels so cuddly.   

Last night Ada had her ballet recital at our church.  Here Ada is in the church nursery before the "show" standing still while Miss Anna put some make up on Ada.  Ada loves Miss Anna (a teenager in our church, and Ada's ballet teacher). 

Here Anna is putting make up on some of the other little ballerinas.  Some of my friends took better pictures last night, so when I get those I will post them and write more about ballet and the recital.

Today Ada received a package from Near--mostly it was things that we left at my mom's house (mom always has stuff that I left.  I am notorious for leaving my things behind), but it also included the book that mom made for Ada. 

And in other news, John is dealing with his first big disobedience issue.  It's the stairs.  The temptation is just too much for him.

We have blocked the stairs, but he has just in the past few days been able to "unblock" them, and he even fell down the stairs the other morning.  Which resulted in a breatholding spell, ending in his passing out, coming to, and then being so tired he went down for a nap.  This did not deter him, however.

It continues to be an issue, and as a result John received his first real spanking (actually several spankings over the course of a few days).  I will sit on the couch, he will stand where you see him above, and I will say, "no sir!" very firm.  He usually smiles at me, waves, and says, "ey" (hey), and then continues with his mission.  At which point, if he is able to successfully move the "obstacle," and begin his climb up the stairs, he gets a spanking.

 He is a determined little booger, and even figured out how to climb over the box.  This is a first for John.  Ada was a climber from the get-go, climbing long before she learned to walk, but John hasn't been a big climber.  Until now.  It's his first lesson in obedience, bless him. 

And those are the highlights of our week. 

Tutoring

I am thankful for my tutoring job for several reasons--the main reason being that it is yet another thing that God uses to provide for our family.

I am also thankful for it because I enjoy it.  I miss being in the classroom so much.  I am so thankful that I get to be at home with Ada and John, so thankful, but I miss teaching A LOT.  And I am thankful that I get to do something education related a few times a week. 

Tutoring is so great, too, because I get to know the families so well.  And the students just bless my life in so many ways.

I am currently tutoring this one little guy, a first grader, and he is a struggling reader.  He absolutely can read--can sound out almost any word--but it just isn't flowing for him.  He sounds out every letter in a word, and we are just struggling along.  He is a smart kid, though, so smart.  And funny.  His teacher suggested that he repeat first grade because of his slow reading skills.  His mom really didn't want to do that because he really is so smart, and it didn't seem to make sense for him to repeat a grade.  Well we have been busting our tails trying to get him approved to move onto second grade.

Congrats to him because he is moving on.  He did GREAT on all of the end of the year tests, and he will be in second grade next year. 

Well, as I was leaving his house earlier this week, I turned around to say good-bye, and his sweet little six year old voice said to me from the top of his stairs, "Thank you.  Thank you for helping me pass."  He said it with such sincerity.  I melted. 

On the other end of the spectrum, I am also tutoring a guy who is a junior in high school.  I started tutoring him when he was freshman, and he is a fun guy with a really great family.  Well, his mom is great about giving me really fun "teacher gifts," and look at what I got tonight (we are done with tutoring for the summer)

So fun, right?  I am going to make it my water cup so that the only way I can use it is if I am drinking water.  It's true, I have to trick myself into drinking water.

As much as I love teaching and students and education, I am SO VERY THANKFUL that my mornings start out with these stinkers crowded in my lap, rather than a classroom full of students.

And the bed time issue

First of all, thank you, friends, for all of the advice.  I love blogging for this very reason, conversation among moms, via the Internet.

I am such a verbal processor (with those that I know well), and it helps me so much to be able to get it all out, thinking it through as I say it (and/or type it), and then continuing to think it through as I get feedback.  I am loving the smoothie idea and the putting fruit in his sandwich idea.  If he sees bread, he wants it, no matter what it is, so I think if I hide the fruit in the bread, he will be good to go.  And, by the way, add cheese pizza to his list of favorite foods.  As you know, our family is on a tight budget--have I mentioned that, ha:)--but I like to take one weekend night off from cooking.  Pizza tends to be our cheapest "eat-out" option as a family.  Well tonight we decided to try a local pizza place that we had never tried before, where we could order by the slice.  It was near Publix, where we were headed, and we just spur of the moment decided to give it a go.  And that is where John ate almost an entire piece of cheese pizza.  A large piece.  I had a piece of pizza, mine with toppings, but I didn't even eat my entire piece because the slices were very large.  It was crazy the amount that John was able to eat.  Ada opted for the "side" of spaghetti instead of pizza.  She also enjoyed her meal.  So, the restaurant was a hit. 

 Yes, Ada did feel the need to use both a fork and a spoon.  Who knows why.  That was the side of spaghetti by the way, and it was a very large portion.  I can only imagine the size of the actual meal.

And the best picture I could get of John-John and his pizza. 

So, anyway, our bedtime situation...

every single night Ada comes up with a reason why I need to lie down with her until she falls asleep.  Every. single. night.  Her eyes itch; her nose is running; she heard a noise; there was a light outside; etc. etc. etc.  When I tell her no, it turns into an all out, kicking, screaming, pitching a fit, battle.  And that's from both of us.  If you want to see me at my absolute worst as a mother, find me at bedtime.  By 8:00 at night, I am done, ready to clock out, and if Ada decides that she is not done with the day, my flesh flares up and begins to demand my "right" of time to myself at night.  It's not pretty.  In fact, I have done away with spanking at bed time because I don't believe in spanking in a fit of anger, and when Ada won't go to bed, I am always in a fit of anger.  So, last night, I was over it.  I went downstairs, Ada screaming, Scott trying to deal with the situation, and my not trusting my response if I didn't remove myself from the room.  So, there I sat on the couch, hearing Ada crying for me, and I just began to pray.  I am out of ideas.  We have tried every punishment under the sun, and none of it helps.  As I was praying, I was reminded of the potty training situation, and how much I was at the end of myself with that.  God absolutely showed up in the potty training and got it done.  I really felt like God was telling me that I had to give up the fight.  Continue with the consequences of disobeying at bedtime but give up the fight.  So...I went back upstairs, got in the bed with Ada, who was hysterically crying at that point, and I just began to talk to her.  I told her that we had a problem, that we were both dealing with yucky hearts, and that I didn't know what to do other than pray.  I reminded her of the potty training situation, and she absolutely can tell you who took her fear away.  She knows it was God.  I told her we will pray every morning and night until God helps us with the bed time situation (though she will continue to deal with consequences if I have to lie down with her).  So, finally she fell asleep with me beside her in the bed. 

Tonight, before baths, before we were in the midst of the situation, Ada and I sat on the couch and prayed.  She didn't want to, but I made her repeat after me, and then I prayed, and we proceeded with our normal routine.  So...tonight she fell asleep while Scott and I were doing our nightly prayer.  Answered prayer that I didn't have to lie down with her, yes, but it doesn't solve our problem of her being willing to go to bed without me in there with her.  So...that is our bed time situation.  I am out of ideas, so I am simply praying about it and praying that God is going to use this to sanctify me and perhaps draw Ada to himself.

Ada is so full of fears.  Two nights ago, as we were tucking her in and getting ready to pray, I asked her if there was anything she wanted me to pray for.  She said yes, "that I won't fall off the bed (she fell off a few weeks ago) and for the tigers."  I said, "Okay, like that God will keep you safe from the tigers?"  "Yes," she said very matter-of-factly.  I replied," well, I really don't think you will be near any tigers, ever, so you really, really don't have to be scared of that."  She was not convinced, and in fact, she went on to ask me to "pray about the dragons and the giants," and there was no convincing her that she need not be afraid of these things.  Which, in the conversation it dawned on me that what we need to teach her is that God is bigger than her fears not just the things she is afraid of, and that is how we approached the tigers, dragons, and giants prayer--that God would free her from those fears and help her to feel safe.  I am hoping that maybe this whole bed time situation, like the potty training, will teach her much about God and how in control he is of all of her fears.  He is so much bigger than all of those things.  And, in reality, much of what I am afraid of is just as ridiculous as tigers and dragons and giants.  I mean, "we can confidently say, 'the Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?" (Hebrews 13:6)


So that is where we are...very, very, very dependent on God to work this thing out.  And, of course, open to suggestions.  I feel like I have tried everything, but maybe not.  Maybe you have something I haven't tried yet that will be just the thing to snap us out of this "situation."

And it's Friday...

It's been a week. 

Life has decided to throw us some financial curve balls.  Life?  God, in His sovereignty is more accurate, I'd say.

But anyway, it's just been a car's in the shop, expenses adding up, stuck in the house, raining outside kind of week.  And, in the midst of that, my discipleship group is reading Trusting God by Jerry Bridges (love it and him!!), and it turns out, surprise, surprise, that God uses these situations to help us practically learn His word and, you know, sanctify us.

I am memorizing Philippians 4:4-14 for discipleship group (we each pick a verse/verses to go with our accountability question, and my question has to do with anxiety--shocker, right?)  So, intellectually, I have been saying out loud and in my head over and over, "Rejoice in the Lord, always, again I will say rejoice..." but this week, God said, "Rejoice in me always--like when your car is in the shop for the second week and you are climbing the walls and the rain keeps pouring and you want to scream--again I will say, Rejoice."  I didn't always have the best attitude this week, I confess.  In fact, at times, my heart was looking rather ugly.  But at the end of the day, I really, really mean it when I say, I want His will.  Whatever that is.  That's what I want.  No matter how uncomfortable; I want His will.  Because isn't that really the safest place to be?  Smack dab in the middle of God's will.  I think so.

So that was our week, and I haven't blogged because the blogging wouldn't have been pretty.  And now I have two parenting questions.  Advice, anyone?  Please?

First, dear, sweet, stubborn, baby John has decided that he will only eat toast, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and yogurt, which I mentioned a couple of posts ago.  I mean, he is also willing to eat cookies and goldfish and things of that sort, but of the things that I am willing to give him, He will eat toast, PB and J and yogurt.  I have tried avocado, strawberries, cantaloupe, grape tomatoes, bananas (which two weeks ago, he loved), lima beans (which he finally ate some of the other night), pinto beans, black beans, green beans, carrots (has willingly eaten these before, as well), eggs, and the list could go on and on.  He refuses.  I get frustrated, I am trying to force the food into his mouth because I know if he tries it, he will most likely continue to eat it, but I can't get him to try it.  He holds his lips closed as tightly as possible, turns his face away, and hits the high chair.  I have also tried just putting things on his high chair so that he can feed himself.  He just throws the food onto the floor if he doesn't want to eat it.  It is making dinner time quite stressful for me.  And as I have mentioned before, control is one of my idols.  And in motherhood, this often looks like me trying to make sure I am doing things right, and checking off all the boxes.  So I am feeling fairly stressed over the fact that John is getting no fruits or vegetables in his diet.  None.  I feel okay about the yogurt and the sandwiches because I give him Yo-Baby organic yogurt with plenty of probiotics, and I only give him 100% whole grain bread with no high fructose corn syrup and natural peanut butter.  In other words, I am trying to "follow all of those rules," but no fruits or vegetables.  What do I do?  And his being in the 9th percentile, makes me even more want to make sure he is eating plenty of the right foods and gaining weight the way that he is supposed to.  So...I just wonder if there is a way to make this less of a battle.  Will he outgrow this or will I be doing mealtime battles for the rest of his childhood? 

This is getting so long, that I think I will stop the post here without going into the Ada bedtime issue.  I'll save that for another day. 

But I really would love some advice or even a reality check when it comes to John's eating habits. 

p.s. I should add that John does eat other foods, like graham crackers and goldfish and cheerios, mainly to maintain my sanity and keep him from screaming.  He also eats the free cookie at Publix, so I willingly confess that my kids eat lots and lots of junk, but I try to make sure that the majority of what they eat is healthy, energy providing stuff.  And I should add, that I have even tried going back to baby food since he was willing to eat fruits and vegetables in that form, but of course he doesn't want baby food now.  So, that's where we are, and I am sort of throwing my hands up in frustration.  I am considering buying pediasure or something of that nature just to make sure he is getting the proper nutrients, even if they are artificial.

John Update

Note:  There are pictures in this post, but they are not showing up.  Scott is making me get off the computer now because it's bed time, so hopefully I will discover the problem tomorrow.

Note 2x: This is Scott. LB granted me access to her blog so I could add pictures for her.  I thought while I was here I could use this opportunity to shamelessly link to my blog because LB has way more readers than me. You should read my blog too because it is amazingly hilarious. Also, I am very humble. Click here, please. I am also polite.

Note 3x: I love John, too. (This is still Scott.)

I realized that John's twelve month well baby visit passed by, and I never blogged about it.  (Which I like to do for my own records).

At 13 months, John weighs 19 lbs 1 oz, putting him in the 9th percentile for weight.  And he is 28 1/4 inches tall, putting him in the 11th percentile for height.  But his head wins, being in the 21st percentile.  So, it's official, we have small children.  The thing is, to look at John, he doesn't seem small to me.  He's solid.  Ada has always been so lanky, so it made sense that she was only in the 1st percentile, but John is a chunk of a toddler.  We'll see how it all plays out.  Bless their hearts.  That's what they get with a 5 foot tall mother.

Other than his eye, John is a healthy boy.  His tear duct is still clogged, so we do have to go see the pediatric optometrist to get that taken care of.  I am hoping that procedure won't be a huge deal.  I joked with my mom that for my children to be healthy, we sure do have to go to a lot of specialists;)  But...we are headed to the eye doctor this week, and John's eye will soon be clear and not runny.  (Take note all you female babies out there who have been a bit turned off by John's goopy eye.  We are getting that cleared up.) 

(never mind the dirty clothes in the middle of the kitchen floor.  Despite the appearance of this picture, my laundry is still under control.  The pajamas on the kitchen floor are a result of a rush to get the kids dressed and out the door for church.  All dirty and clean laundry is now in its proper location).

Things to note about John at 13 months (closing in on 14 months).

--he is officially weaned.  He breastfed for the last time last Sunday when I got home from my weekend in Birmingham.  We are now officially done.  I can't believe it, and it continues to be bittersweet for me.

--he is finally sleeping all night.  He cried for 1.5 hours the night that I was in Birmingham, and nothing Scott did would console him.  The good news is, it broke his habit of waking up at night, and he now sleeps all night.  If he does wake up, he only cries for a few minutes and then puts himself back to sleep.  It only took 13 months.

--He is a very, very physical and strong baby.  I constantly feel like I am in a wrestling match with him--getting him bathed, getting his diaper changed, getting him dressed.  Physically, he wears me out. 

--He is very stubborn and continues to have a temper (and to breath hold, which ends in his passing out).  His anger comes out in various ways--a stiff body and arched back, so that I can't hold him, hitting something--anything--very hard, and sometimes throwing something down with a lot of force. 

--Part of his stubbornness is coming out in his eating habits.  We have a show down every meal.  The only things he really eats are yogurt and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.  I am trying to feed him whatever the family is eating, including all fruits and veggies, and it is a battle of the wills.  Usually I give in because I am so frustrated and ready for dinner to be over.  I am not entirely sure how to handle this.

--He drinks almond milk out of a sippy cup multiple times in the day.

--He has very happy and fun moments.  He LOVES Ada.  Loves her, and squeals and laughs with her all the time.  He is beginning to warm up to people other than the immediate family, which is good to see.  He still strongly prefers me over anyone else.

--He doesn't say many words at all but lots of syllables.  The one word that he says over and over is Ada, but he says it about everything.  He constantly points to things and says Ada, so I don't know if he associates the word with the person, or it's just what he says.  He never says mama. 

--He loves his blankie, and when he is tired he likes to suck on it.  (kind of gross I know)

--His world mostly consists of Scott, Ada, and me, but he does stay in the nursery at church, and we often go to story time at the library.  Of course, he goes wherever I go, so the grocery store and such.

--His favorite activity is to put one thing inside of another, and I often find random objects in laundry baskets or drawers. 

--He is such a cuddle bug.  He would be content to sit in my lap with his blanket all. day. long.  My precious boy.

I am so thankful for my John-John.  I have a feeling that we have many challenges ahead based on what we have seen of his temper so far, but my prayer is that I would recognize all of his good and strong qualities and focus on those rather than the bad.  There is so much good that can come from a strong will, and I pray that John would come to know the Lord at a young age, and that God would sanctify John and take that strong will and mold it according to God's purposes for His glory!!  I pray nightly that early on John would love the Lord with all of his heart, soul, and mind, that God would protect John from idols, and that John's chief goal in life would be to Glorify God in all that he does.  I also pray for his wife.  That God would be preparing a little girl to one day be a suitable helper for John. I pray that she would come to know the Lord at an early age, and that she would embrace her role as a woman--as the encourager, the helper.  I pray that she would be a strong woman, who also loves the Lord with all of her heart, soul, and mind, and that together they would desire to pass that love on to the next generation and the next and the next and so on.

What a huge responsibility and privilege it is to be a parent.  How desperate Scott and I are for God's wisdom and discernment and direction.  We are so thankful for God's promise that He will daily provide what we need to raise these children to know and love Him and His Word. 

Sick, Sick, Sick

Sickness has moved into our house, and it seems determined to stay.  (which is apparently true for a lot of people these days.)

John had a fever last weekend, and we stayed home from church last Sunday because we were all feeling fairly crummy.  Well, I waited out his cold all week, but his eye got runnier and runnier (he still has a clogged tear duct), and I began to suspect both pink eye and an ear infection.  Finally after a few rough nights in a row, I took him to the doctor on Friday morning.  Sure enough, pink eye and a double ear infection. 

Well, after the appointment and then getting the prescription filled, Ada began to act a little strange, refusing to eat her lunch and then refusing to eat her dinner.  Strangest of all?  She asked if she could go to bed last night.  Asked!!  So obviously I wasn't surprised when she woke up at 10 last night with a stomach virus.  After stripping her bed and giving her a quick bath, she fell asleep in our bed, until we had to repeat the entire process a couple of hours later.  Finally, at midnight, she and I both ended up in her twin bed (with fresh sheets), where she insisted on lying right beside me.  We were taking up about 1/4 of the bed.  And we slept on and off through the night, waking up periodically for her to get sick.  It was a doozy of a night.

Then today, John has been so very fussy, I am sure from the ear infection, and I was trying not to nurse him.  Well, he decided to absolutely throw a fit.  It was really funny to watch.  Scott tried to pick him up to comfort him, but he was flailing about so much, that Scott had to put him on the ground to keep from dropping him.  At one point during the fit, John spotted the boppy.  It was hilarious because he immediately walked himself over there and tried to pick up the boppy.  Obviously it was too big and heavy for him to carry, so he just put his hand on it, looked at me, and pushed it towards me.  I was getting the message loud and clear:)  He wouldn't let it go either.  He was determined that I was going to pick up that boppy and nurse him.  Finally, he won.  I told myself that he is still feeling bad, and we will get back to weaning in a couple of days.  I am a bit frustrated because he was DONE, and then he got sick, and we are back to square one.

The good news?  My sick children are both in bed before 6:30, and Scott has gone to pick up a movie for us to watch.  So, though it's been a stressful day, I think, I think, we are looking at a relaxing night.  And Ada hasn't been sick in a few hours, so hopefully we are past the worst of it.  She is counting on attending a birthday party tomorrow, but we'll see if that actually happens.  She keeps insisting that she's "all better," so that she can go. 

And, by the way, I think the fact that John is old enough to process the fact that the boppy equals nursing means he is old enough to stop nursing.  Do you agree?

Rambling, as usual

I said that I wasn't blogging as much, and here I am, back again.

First, my pride feels the need to say that I didn't intend for yesterday's post to be about how busy I am or how hard I am working as a mom.  I was afraid that it came across a little, what's the word?, "showy?"  Anyway...I should probably just leave it alone, but it's been on my mind (and, again, it's probably just pride on my part).  I really have just started recording my days for posterity's sake.  Because it's fun to see at the end of the day what all the minutes and hours added up to.

Moving on.

My children's sleep habits are driving me NUTS.

I really, really, really, really want to get up before my family to exercise and read my bible.  I wholeheartedly believe that it would get my day going in a positive, happy, peaceful direction rather than jumping in at 7 am when little Ada yells, "let's go downstairs, mama!!!!  It's light outside!!!!"  I even have a friend texting me everyday for accountability to see if I woke up.  Monday, I had success.

Tuesday, as you know, started out successfully, but then both children woke up, and to insure that Ada didn't start her day at 5, I lay down with her.  It seemed the wisest decision at that point.

And last night was disaster from start to finish.

I got in bed early-ish.  11, maybe?  And I fell asleep fairly quickly.  Then John woke up, loudly, at midnight.  I was very frustrated.  (Want to see me at my absolute worst?  Wake me up in the middle of the night.  Hence the throwing pillows at Scott during our first year of marriage.)  Scott suggested that I go downstairs and sleep on the couch where I couldn't hear John.  Turns out I could hear John from the living room couch.  But he calmed down, and I went back to the bed and fell asleep.  John woke up again about an hour later, and I was even more frustrated.  Plus, Scott was sleeping right through the whole thing, and being totally honest, I took a lot of my frustration out on Scott.  (I was totally in the wrong).  Scott, probably for his own sake, suggested that I nurse John "just this once," so I agreed and that took care of that.  And next thing I know, I am waking up at 7 am in Ada's bed.  Well, that's a new one.  Many, many mornings I wake up to find Ada in between Scott and me, and I can never remember how she got there, but this is certainly the first time that I have woken up in her bed with no clue how I got there.  I still don't know.  But all of this night time chaos is preventing my early morning time, and I am very frustrated.  It's one of those times that I want to say to God, "isn't it a good thing for me to wake up and spend time with you?  Can't you help me out with this?"  Which I know isn't biblical, but it is how I feel.  And I am clueless as how to solve the situation.  If I let John cry-it-out, Ada wakes up.  And everyone tells me that she will get used to it, but gut instinct tells me that she won't.  And then we all end up awake at 1 am or 5 am or whatever.  And John is supposed to be weaned, but I don't know how to get him back to sleep in the middle of the night without nursing him.  It's becoming an all-night party around here, which is the exact opposite of what I am trying to accomplish.

I am going for early to bed, early to rise...you know?

Anyway, thanks for letting me vent.  I still don't know what to do about the situation, other than the obvious--pray about it, and trust that if it really is best for me to wake up early, God will work out the details (like letting my children not wake up at 5 am just because I wake up at 5 am).

I am at a place, right now, where so many situations in my life (and not even major ones; mainly normal, daily stuff like my children's sleep habits) feel very out of my control, and, again, just being honest with you, I am not handling it very well.  Control continues to be an idol of mine, and I am sensing that God is taking away a lot of control in my life so that I will rest in Him instead of my idol.  Lately, I have two options, rest in God and the fact that he is working out the details of my life, or live in a state of constant anxiety.  I am in a bit of a lonely place, feeling distant from my family because I am not able to visit them the way I used to be able to--it's just not a possibility with my current tutoring schedule and such.  I am missing quality girl time because motherhood just doesn't allow that--I mean time with women apart from my children.  I am wishing for more time alone with Scott (thank you, Lord, and friends, for a date this past weekend!!!  I shouldn't complain).  And there are other things that I could list--things I don't feel the freedom to go into in such a public place.  Reality, though, is that I have been given so, so much, and I can't believe that I am even finding one thing to complain about.  I mean, really.  I wish I could grasp that and see the good, only the good.  There is so much good.  It is overflowing.

Okay, look at me, rambling on and on as usual.  Bottom line, I am hoping my children will start sleeping better;)

Listing My Days

Lately (or always) I often get overwhelmed at the end of the day when the house is a mess, and I am trying to remember what I did that day.  How did we fill the hours?  A little lie that plays in my head says that I didn't do anything that matters.  I tell myself (and Scott, bless his heart, I talk his ears off all the time) that I don't think we just wasted the day away, but what did we do, I wonder? 

Combine that with the fact that I would love to go back and read a record of my mom's or my grandmother's or my great grandmother's days as stay-at-home moms.  I adore Elisabeth Elliot's book, The Shaping of a Christian Family as it is basically a journal of what her mother's life looked like when she was a mom.  I learn so much from reading a record of her days.  I always imagine that one day Ada will come to me with questions when she is also in the motherhood trenches (if the Lord decides to make her a mom).  So, I have started jotting down my days.  Just a list, nothing formal, but a way for me to look back over my days and reflect.  I have only been doing this for two days, but I am loving that it forces me to reflect and see that I am doing something. 

So, just for fun...our day today.

Woke up at 5 am, excited to work out and do my bible study.  John woke up with a vengeance at 5:10 am, waking Ada up with him.  I nursed John (who is supposedly weaned) and then lay down with Ada until 7 am.  I don't think she ever went back to sleep.

At 7 am, got up, made bed, "switched laundry," unloaded dishwasher, swept kitchen floor

John woke up

quick "wipe down" of guest bathroom

John had a "spell," he is worn out from it, I put him back to bed at 8:00

8:30 got in the shower, while in the shower, Ada comes in the bathroom and tells me that she went into John's room but assures me, "he didn't see me." 

Get out of shower, and sure enough, John is awake.

9 am, Jessica gets here to watch my kids while I run an errand for Church

return at 10:30 am

Go upstairs and notice water on the floor of John's room.  I ask Ada if she was playing with water upstairs, and she says, "that's tee-tee."  I never get a clear answer on how tee-tee got on John's floor other than "it dripped."

Realize that I need to clean out our vacuum before I can clean up the tee-tee (we have a Rainbow, which sucks wet spills right off the carpet.  If you are wondering how we ended up with a Rainbow, that's another post for another day)

I push John's high chair outside, put vanilla wafers on the tray, and put John in the high chair.  Ada joins us outside.

I realize the water hose is broken when I soak my jeans, but I manage to clean out the Rainbow container.

I roll John back inside, and I get Ada inside.

I take John and the vacuum upstairs.  Put John in bed, and finally get the tee-tee cleaned up.

Get John down for a nap, fix lunch for Ada and me, eat, and crash on the couch while Ada watches two cartoons.

John wakes up.

Ada, John, and I play with the letters blocks.  I try to teach Ada how to "blend" letters.  John some how hurts himself and has another "spell"

He is worn out again from the breath holding, and I put him back to bed.

While upstairs, I fold clothes on my bed and try to ignore the clothes covering my floor so that I don't become overwhelmed.

Match pile of socks on the floor.

comes downstairs--it's 2:30

I sit down to attempt my bible study that didn't get done this AM, and Ada writes her letters and we review vowels, which she calls "balance" (A "balance" is A).  I try to correct her, but she never hears the word correctly.

And I stopped recording there.  Lots more hours have passed, and now Scott is at Bible Study, the kids are in bed, and I am watching The Biggest Loser.   And, yes, my house is a mess.  A mess.  The kitchen is clean, though.  That's something.

This is my day-to-day.

The End of an Era

Well, folks, I think that John is officially weaned.  I can't believe it.

Just this week I dropped the morning feeding, and I was only nursing him before bed each night.  Well, tonight I had a late night of tutoring, so I told Scott to try to put John down without me here.  Scott fed him a sippy cup of milk, put John in his bed, and never heard from him again.  So many mixed emotions, you know?

Mostly I am relieved that it was such a painless process.  And I am excited because I can now do so many things like visit my dear friend, Lindsay, in Birmingham, and hopefully soon each of my sisters in New Orleans and North Carolina.  It's freedom, you know?

But it's also a bit emotional.  I prayed and prayed and prayed that John would be a good nurser, specifically that he would nurse for a year.  My dear friends in my discipleship group also prayed for this the entire time that I was pregnant.  God provided in abundance, even after John was given a bottle for his 8 day stay in the NICU.  And, of course, with John making the switch to a sippy cup, I am also a bit emotional over losing my little baby boy.  (I don't mean really emotional; I just mean, like, "awww, my baby's growing up")

Anyway, I am doing the typical mom thing and saying, time is absolutely flying by.

But, I am thrilled over my scheduled trip to Birmingham for a much needed girl's weekend.  AND, this weekend, Scott and I are going on our first real date since John was born.  Again, a friend of mine from discipleship group has graciously offered to watch the kiddos while we go to dinner.  So...big things are happening around here.

And what is John eating now that he has given up the "liquid gold?"  Lots of things.

What you see above is John taking advantage of Ada's forgotten cheese-itz snack.  And, in the blue sippy cup?  Vanilla almond milk.  And the bottom picture?  A grilled cheese sandwich and a banana. 

He's my big boy.

My Little Man

(I actually wrote this yesterday afternoon, and I am just now posting it.)

This guy was my date for the day.

Scott traveled to Alabama today to pick up some furniture that we are "inheriting" from his brother and sister-in-law.  He is coming back here, along with his parents, tomorrow morning.  All along he planned to go without us, so that the kids wouldn't have to do that trip two days in a row.  Well at the last minute, Ada decided that she wanted to go.

This is a big deal for Ada in the face of all the fear she has been dealing with lately.  She rarely wants to be separated from me at all, so I was excited that she was eager to go with Scott.  Obviously, Scott is with her, and she is going to familiar place to be with family, but these days there isn't much that she is willing to do away from me.  Plus it's an unexpected break for me!!!  It's crazy the difference in having just John compared to Ada and John. 

It's been fun to have a little one on one time with John.  It has made me realize how most of the time, John is just along for the ride.  Today, I spent a lot more time than usual talking to him in the grocery store, rather than trying to corral Ada and all of her energy.  And in the car, instead of answering Ada's endless questions (which I love; it's just a fact that they are endless), I was having a little "chat" with John.  It's been such a treat.

It's the first time in a year that I have spent a night away from Ada.  The last time was when I was in the hospital having John, so it's a strange feeling to be here in the house alone (with John sleeping upstairs, obviously).  I think I am going to take full advantage and head to bed early.

Update:  Ada did great on the trip, hardly missing me at all, I think, and for anyone who is interested (family, a handful of loyal friends, maybe), she has now been off of miralax for several days and continues to have success on the potty.  I am SO THANKFUL for this because I don't like giving her all of that miralax.  Thank you, Lord, for answered prayer!!! 

Happy First Birthday, John!!! (Warning: Super Long Post)

My precious John Thomas.

We have come a long way, baby.

What a rollercoaster of a day last February 8th was.  I was so relieved for you to finally be here and to be what appeared to be healthy (as we had a few "scares" during the second trimester ultrasound).  My emotions were all over the place as I was relieved for you to be here and healthy but also fearful and torn as they took you to the NICU. 

Thankfully, though, you healed quickly compared to most in the NICU, and we finally brought you home on Valentine's Day of last year.  My little Valentine.

I laugh because every time I came to see you in the NICU, the nurses would talk about all the trouble you were causing.  You and another baby across the room, Roderick.  Ya'll were apparently partners in crime, feeding off of each other and keeping the nurses on their toes.  Roderick got to leave before you, but then you were quickly moved to a transition nursery, as you prepared to go home.  There was a tiny, premature baby in the NICU with you, and her mother was often there when I was.  I have an image of the day we left to go home, and the elevator opened to the NICU floor, there she sat in the waiting room, and we smiled at each other and waved.  I imagine she saw many babies come and go during her stay in the hospital.  I have often thought of her since then and wondered how their story turned out.

And, of course, you continued to cause trouble at home, having your first breath holding spell the night after you came home.  Just this past Sunday you had two breath holding spells in the nursery, one before I even left to go to the worship service.  You aren't a mild baby, that's for sure;) 

You have been my champion nurser, which was, of course, such an answer to prayer.  I prayed and prayed and prayed some more than you would nurse well.  And in my typical "glass-half-empty" fashion, I assumed we would have trouble after your stay in the NICU.  Trouble we have not had.  Sleep we have not had either;)  And bottles, you scoffed at those too.

Now that you are a year old, I am hoping that sometime in the near future we will actually wean, but between you and me, I feel sort of emotional about it.  Nursing has played such a HUGE role in this first year, as it is the sure way to calm my fussy baby.  It is always the right answer.  And, let's face it, nothing can replace that nutrition.  So...it is a daunting thing to wean you and figure out a way to get you to eat something that will provide some nutrition.  Daily you are eating yogurt, and I am daily making you try eggs.  So far you aren't loving them, but I will try and try again.  I am also going to make you keep trying avocado.  You have to exist on something other than cheerios and puffs once we wean.  And you aren't too interested in your sippy cup, though I give it to you several times a day in hopes that you will become interested.

You still nurse when you wake up in the morning and before bed and at least one other time during the day, but this is a HUGE improvement from even a couple of weeks ago.  You really are starting to eat more and more solid food.  And you still wake up at least once a night.  I never realized how sleepy I would be at the end of this first year:)  I no longer use the monitor, but I still wake up.  We have tried to let you cry-it-out several times, but after an hour, I always give in and nurse you.  You are a stubborn thing, and I have no idea how long you would continue to cry.

In the past couple of days you have nearly given up crawling in favor of walking.  You can go from sitting to standing with nothing to pull up on, and you love to toddle around as fast as you can, though your upper body often gets ahead of your lower body and you end up flat on your face.   You just get right back up and try again.

You are such an introvert, never very happy unless you are at home with just the immediate family.  I hate that no one really gets to see what I think of as the real John because you become such a grumpy version of yourself around anyone else.  Already I am praying for wisdom in how to encourage the good and discourage the bad parts of this unique personality that I am afraid you inherited from your mama:) 

You LOVE Ada, and I stand firm that her name was your first word.  The doctor says that it's really too early for that to be true, but I totally disagree.  You say her name very clearly (it's not a hard one to say).  You also say da-da, and uh-uh (for uh-oh, I think), but rarely do you say mama.  Again, Ada is the only thing you say consistently, but it is probably what you hear most as well.  I am trying to teach you sign language, as one doctor told us that part of the breath holding could be caused by frustration, and that if you have a way to communicate it might help.  You don't seem to be catching on to the sign language yet, though.

I can tell that you are a second born in that you always try to imitate Ada.  You like to sit in front of puzzles and throw the pieces onto the board as if "working" the puzzle, and you clap and dance along with her.  You also seem more drawn to books than she was.  Your favorite activity, however, is putting toys in and taking them back out of containers, whatever container you can find, and because we spend much time in the bathroom as we deal with Ada's potty issues, you often try to throw your toys into the toilet.  Luckily, so far, I have caught you before you were successful.  You are not as mischievious as Ada, thankfully, and I haven't had to baby-proof the house as much.  You also seem to respond to no in a way that she didn't.  I do sometimes have to pop your little hand, but other times I don't even have to do that to get you to obey.  Maybe the breath holding doesn't indicate a strong will?  Maybe it's more of an emotional thing?  Who knows.

I could go on and on and on talking about all of your little characteristics.

Bottom line?  You are a joy to me.  I am beyond thankful that God gifted us with you, our precious boy.  You have added so much fun and joy and laughter to this family.  God has already used you to stretch me and grow me and make me more and more dependent on His grace. 

Precious boy, I am praying daily that you were grow into a strong man of God.  I pray that God would protect your heart from idols.  That always, always, you would love Him most.  I pray that you would love God, that you would long to know Him and that as a result you would love prayer and His word.  I pray that you will one day fall in love with a godly woman, and that you will work hard to provide for your wife and children.  I pray that you will long for your children to know and love God and His word.  I pray that God would give Scott and me wisdom as we navigate parenthood and that we would always take you back to the gospel.  All I want, John, is for you to know God personally, for your whole life to be about Him.  That is it.

I love you, John.  Happy Birthday, sweet boy!!!