Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Why I am a stay at home mom--an introduction

I had someone ask me to explain my thought process in choosing to stay at home with Ada and the adjustments (and struggles!!!) that I faced along the way. I am both excited and nervous to write about this because I want to only provide encouragement in my answer. I have realized since becoming a mom that women are very opinionated, and we like to share our opinions. I am no exception. This can, however, be discouraging at times, and I am a firm believer that moms (and women) in general need major encouragement not discouragement. So let me say before I even begin this topic that no matter what choice you make--stay at home, work part time, work full time, whatever, it is just plain hard to be a mom. I don't think one group has it harder or easier than the other group, and nothing I write is meant to tear down or discourage, it is simply my testimony of how I ended up a stay at home mom. Furthermore, I think that all moms should support and encourage one another. We need it so badly. And I think that a working mom can encourage me and hopefully I can encourage a working mom.

I also want to say that my convictions are my convictions. I believe they are biblical. I have prayed over them and searched the scriptures. I want to encourage others to do just that. Don't think that I am telling you to do exactly what I have done. I am not telling you that. I am telling you, and I think anyone would agree with this, to take no decision lightly. Whether it be working, staying at home, marriage, children, birth control, your children's education, whatever the decision, I think all need to be prayed about, discussed, thought about. See for yourself what the scriptures have to say. Pray for wisdom and discernment and then make your decision. This is why I always say we (Scott and I) are desperate for wisdom and discernment because I certainly don't know if we are always making the right decisions. But I do believe God honors a heart that is earnestly seeking his will. So that is my prayer, that I would earnestly seek his will.

So, this is how I became a stay at home mom.

As I have mentioned before, my mother stayed at home. Always, until my youngest sister was a senior in high school, and then she went to work at a friend's frame shop. My mom is an artist. She has a degree in graphic design from Auburn, and there were times when I was growing up that she did jobs here and there. Art lessons, portraits, book illustrations, etc. Much like I am taking on some tutoring jobs. They all lasted for a season. They were short lived. For the most part, my mom's job was being our mom. I don't know that my parents ever instructed me that I needed to stay at home one day, but I do know that my mom staying at home hugely shaped my views on motherhood and the role of women. I say all that because I don't know what my perspective would be like had my mom worked. I can only tell my story from this perspective. And from this perspective, my mom stayed at home.

And that is just the beginning of my story. Next time I will fast forward to college and my fantasy years. You know, I have written about it before. When I thought that the city and fashion and marriage and children all magically worked together to form a perfect, romantic life. Ha.

1 comment:

ESS the MESS said...

Your last paragraph made me laugh. My first ambition was to be a Broadway star in NY. It was short live and I quickly changed my major to Fashion Merchandising. I even went on a study aboard full of fashion shows and designers. It was fun but I have no regrets about my decisions to marry Ben, be a stay-at-home wife, move to big ole Scottsboro, or one day raise a family. God has changed my heart since my fashion days and He is continuing to do so....although I still do love to read Vogue on an occasion :P