Thankful. #s 39-50

Thankful again, so thankful.  The blessings are always there when I take the time to look for them. 

39.  The toddler stage.  I love that John's personality is starting to develop so much, but that at the same time he is still my cuddly baby boy.  Precious thing.
40.  Ada tickling John, and the squeals and laughter from both of them.
41.  Doctors and health insurance.  So very thankful for health insurance.
42.  Two, working cars!!!! 
43.  Peace in the midst of chaos.  God's word is true--do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God, and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
44.  Discovering a broken air conditioner before the heat of the summer sets in.
45.  Quick, fixable problems, and we have cool air again!!
46.  Dirt roads and green fields.  I think I am a city girl, and then I breath in all that fresh air, and I second guess myself.
47.  Real questions from Ada about how Jesus felt when he died on the cross.  Keep her questioning, Lord, keep her questioning.
48.  Couponing.
49.  Dove coconut and dark chocolate eggs.
50.  This family--I joke that I am "just living the dream," but isn't that exactly what I am doing?  Because at the end of the day, there is nothing I want more than these people right here with me within the four walls of my house.  My treasures.

The Weekend

I had to post this picture because I did not tell Ada to pose, she just did this little stance as soon as she saw that my phone was about to snap a picture.  I think she is destined for a sorority at Auburn;) 

Ada was my grocery shopping partner in crime on Saturday morning while John napped and Scott finished painting the kitchen.  (The breakfast room and hallway are next on the list.  Slowly but surely, we are getting it done).

It was a good weekend after our crazy week.  Relaxing and productive. 

We ended the weekend by hanging out with some friends tonight, and we got home later than we usually do.  Ada was so tired, that she crawled into bed, shoes and all, and fell asleep while I was filling the bathtub with water.  Scott woke her up, and she cried and cried all through her bath because she was so tired.  However, she was filthy, filthy, and I couldn't stomach the thought of her going to sleep with no bath.  I always say, it's a good day for a child if they are covered in dirt at the end of it.  Right? 

And now we are hoping for some answers tomorrow--both from the car mechanic and the dermatologist...we'll see.  Come on Monday, be good to us, please.

My Week In a List

So, apparently I only blog on Mondays and weekends.  It's been a week...again...

I am going to list...

1.  I am having foot issues.  And by foot issues, I mean the skin on my foot.  I am not going to go into detail about that, but just know that it has taken up a large portion of this week, and the issue is not resolved.  It also involved a steroid shot in my rear end.  This is what I have to say about that...when the nurse says left hip, she doesn't mean hip.  The foot issue also involved (involves) a long list of prescriptions, but none are guaranteed to help.  Well...some of the prescriptions are for my allergies that are possibly playing a role in the foot situation.  I am basically allergic to Spring.  If it's blooming, or just out in nature, I am allergic to it.  Anyway...all of that is a lot of what has occupied my week.  I have a dermatologist appointment on Wednesday, so hopefully things will soon be resolved.

2.  Our car is still in the shop; Monday begins week three.  The mechanic is waiting on a part to arrive.  I am ready to be a two car family again.

3.  John ate a banana today, which is great.  I just handed him half of a banana, and he went to town eating it.  I realize that is a very messy way to do it, but it was the only way to get him to eat some fruit.  Success!!!!

4.  In the midst of all of that, Ada's doll Clementine has been in the hospital "with seizures" ;).  Ada keeps having to "get blood" from her.  Ada is the doctor, obviously.

5.  We joined a food co-op with some other women from church, and we received our first "batch" of food this week.  I am hoping that will shave a few dollars off the grocery budget each week. 

And those are the highlights of the week.

Beginning with the first week in March, when Ada ended up in the emergency room with seizures, our life has been rather chaotic.  I'll be honest with you, for someone who struggles with wanting to be in control, it's not comfortable for life to feel this out of my control.  I am fighting the urge to feel down, down, down about things.  But...

God is so good to be right here with me meeting specific needs.  In fact, this morning, Ada and I were praying, and we prayed that she would be able to use the bathroom easily (she still has a bit of trouble with that, and we have to constantly monitor what she is eating) and that John would eat some fruits and vegetables.  Immediately after we prayed, Ada used the bathroom (sorry, I know that's TMI!!!) and John ate a banana.  I laughed because it was as if God was saying, I am here in the midst of your day-to-day, and I am hearing your prayers.  And right now, we are asking God for some big things on a daily basis, and it often feels like our prayers are hitting a brick wall.  But in this tiny thing of John eating a piece of fruit, it was like God, in his grace and mercy, showed me that He absolutely hears.  He hears!!!!  And when these requests that feel so huge and important and urgent are returned with silence it does not take away from the truth that God is sovereign and good and merciful and working in the midst of the chaos. 

Thankful. #s 29-39

And it's Monday again, and I am still counting all the ways that God gifts me every single day. 

29.  Sunshine.  Glorious sunshine.
30.  Hay on the leveled empty lot beside our house.  Does this mean grass?  (did I list this last week?)
31.  John eating all of his peanut butter and banana sandwich at lunch time.  That's one fruit in!!  (one piece of banana fell out of his sandwich onto his tray.  He wouldn't touch it; that crazy boy)
32.  Blogging that allows me to get so many great ideas from so many other moms.
33.  Friends continuing to carry our burdens--specifically the burden of a broken car.
34.  Very clear answers to prayers about my tutoring job.  I will be venturing out on my own, away from the company that I did work for.
35.  A Sunday afternoon spent with my Ada and dear friends from church, watching those beautiful dancers. 
36.  Ada praying today.  I have been praying that she would want to pray.  Today she did.
37.  Three nights of not lying down with Ada at bedtime.  Again, answered prayer.
38.  That God cares more about my good than my comfort. 
39.  The end of the day, Scott by my side. 

A Special Day with Ada

Thanks again, friends, for your encouraging words about Ada's bedtime and my mothering.  Let me tell you, I feel mostly inadequate and like I am just stumbling along in the dark when it comes to mothering, so I do pray about it a lot, out of necessity;)  And Ada and I both fell asleep tonight while Scott was praying at bedtime, but I woke up and Ada settled back down, so that is two nights in a row when I did not have to lie down with her.  Thank you for answered prayer, Lord!!!

Well...I am quite the weekend blogger, aren't I?  Our car is still in the shop with questions marks all around about what the problem might be.  They have ordered a part in hopes that it will fix things, but there are no guarantees.  However, our kind pastor is allowing me to use his car for a couple of days, so that I am not stuck at home.  Thank you, Means family!!  I am so appreciative.  My heart sunk a bit when I realized I was facing yet another week with no transportation.  March was a bit rough on our family, as we ushered it in with Ada's seizures and hospital stay, and it ended with multiple car issues, which is never easy on the budget.  However, I have felt love and cared for by friends and family in a huge way this month, and what a gigantic blessing that is.  Scott and I are being taken care of, indeed, in a very tangible way.  Again, thank you, Lord for these relationships you have given us.

But, what I really wanted to blog about is the special day that Ada had.  Her ballet teacher was performing in Cinderella, which was obviously a must-see for us.  So right after church and lunch, we got in the car with a couple of friends from church who are in ballet with Ada, and we headed to the "theater" for the afternoon.

The ballet was beautiful, and Ada loved it, though she did begin to tire out at the end.  I was very impressed with the performance, and afterwards the little girls were invited on stage to chat with the cast.  Because it was the matinee, there was a special price for children, so it was a young audience.  There were many eager young girls wanting to meet these dancers face to face.

First we excitedly said hello to Ada's dance teacher--a teenager that goes to church with us.

And then the girls got to meet Cinderella herself.  There was actually quite the line waiting for a picture with the star of the show, and Ada kept trying to jump ahead.  She couldn't seem to understand why she wasn't allowed to just walk right up to her.  Here is Ada and her sweet friend Lucy with Cinderella.

It was a special day, and I am so glad Ada was able to experience it. 

We left the boys at home, as Scott is not a fan of ballet.  In fact, for our first married Valentine's, Scott gave me tickets to see The Great Gatsby performed as a ballet at the Fox Theatre.  After the opening number, Scott leaned over and asked when they were going to talk.  I had to inform him that they weren't going to talk because it was, you know, a ballet!!!!  So tonight, as we were getting Ada to bed, and she was still talking about the day, Scott asked again, "did they talk at all?"  He can't understand the purpose if they don't talk;)

And the bed time issue

First of all, thank you, friends, for all of the advice.  I love blogging for this very reason, conversation among moms, via the Internet.

I am such a verbal processor (with those that I know well), and it helps me so much to be able to get it all out, thinking it through as I say it (and/or type it), and then continuing to think it through as I get feedback.  I am loving the smoothie idea and the putting fruit in his sandwich idea.  If he sees bread, he wants it, no matter what it is, so I think if I hide the fruit in the bread, he will be good to go.  And, by the way, add cheese pizza to his list of favorite foods.  As you know, our family is on a tight budget--have I mentioned that, ha:)--but I like to take one weekend night off from cooking.  Pizza tends to be our cheapest "eat-out" option as a family.  Well tonight we decided to try a local pizza place that we had never tried before, where we could order by the slice.  It was near Publix, where we were headed, and we just spur of the moment decided to give it a go.  And that is where John ate almost an entire piece of cheese pizza.  A large piece.  I had a piece of pizza, mine with toppings, but I didn't even eat my entire piece because the slices were very large.  It was crazy the amount that John was able to eat.  Ada opted for the "side" of spaghetti instead of pizza.  She also enjoyed her meal.  So, the restaurant was a hit. 

 Yes, Ada did feel the need to use both a fork and a spoon.  Who knows why.  That was the side of spaghetti by the way, and it was a very large portion.  I can only imagine the size of the actual meal.

And the best picture I could get of John-John and his pizza. 

So, anyway, our bedtime situation...

every single night Ada comes up with a reason why I need to lie down with her until she falls asleep.  Every. single. night.  Her eyes itch; her nose is running; she heard a noise; there was a light outside; etc. etc. etc.  When I tell her no, it turns into an all out, kicking, screaming, pitching a fit, battle.  And that's from both of us.  If you want to see me at my absolute worst as a mother, find me at bedtime.  By 8:00 at night, I am done, ready to clock out, and if Ada decides that she is not done with the day, my flesh flares up and begins to demand my "right" of time to myself at night.  It's not pretty.  In fact, I have done away with spanking at bed time because I don't believe in spanking in a fit of anger, and when Ada won't go to bed, I am always in a fit of anger.  So, last night, I was over it.  I went downstairs, Ada screaming, Scott trying to deal with the situation, and my not trusting my response if I didn't remove myself from the room.  So, there I sat on the couch, hearing Ada crying for me, and I just began to pray.  I am out of ideas.  We have tried every punishment under the sun, and none of it helps.  As I was praying, I was reminded of the potty training situation, and how much I was at the end of myself with that.  God absolutely showed up in the potty training and got it done.  I really felt like God was telling me that I had to give up the fight.  Continue with the consequences of disobeying at bedtime but give up the fight.  So...I went back upstairs, got in the bed with Ada, who was hysterically crying at that point, and I just began to talk to her.  I told her that we had a problem, that we were both dealing with yucky hearts, and that I didn't know what to do other than pray.  I reminded her of the potty training situation, and she absolutely can tell you who took her fear away.  She knows it was God.  I told her we will pray every morning and night until God helps us with the bed time situation (though she will continue to deal with consequences if I have to lie down with her).  So, finally she fell asleep with me beside her in the bed. 

Tonight, before baths, before we were in the midst of the situation, Ada and I sat on the couch and prayed.  She didn't want to, but I made her repeat after me, and then I prayed, and we proceeded with our normal routine.  So...tonight she fell asleep while Scott and I were doing our nightly prayer.  Answered prayer that I didn't have to lie down with her, yes, but it doesn't solve our problem of her being willing to go to bed without me in there with her.  So...that is our bed time situation.  I am out of ideas, so I am simply praying about it and praying that God is going to use this to sanctify me and perhaps draw Ada to himself.

Ada is so full of fears.  Two nights ago, as we were tucking her in and getting ready to pray, I asked her if there was anything she wanted me to pray for.  She said yes, "that I won't fall off the bed (she fell off a few weeks ago) and for the tigers."  I said, "Okay, like that God will keep you safe from the tigers?"  "Yes," she said very matter-of-factly.  I replied," well, I really don't think you will be near any tigers, ever, so you really, really don't have to be scared of that."  She was not convinced, and in fact, she went on to ask me to "pray about the dragons and the giants," and there was no convincing her that she need not be afraid of these things.  Which, in the conversation it dawned on me that what we need to teach her is that God is bigger than her fears not just the things she is afraid of, and that is how we approached the tigers, dragons, and giants prayer--that God would free her from those fears and help her to feel safe.  I am hoping that maybe this whole bed time situation, like the potty training, will teach her much about God and how in control he is of all of her fears.  He is so much bigger than all of those things.  And, in reality, much of what I am afraid of is just as ridiculous as tigers and dragons and giants.  I mean, "we can confidently say, 'the Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?" (Hebrews 13:6)


So that is where we are...very, very, very dependent on God to work this thing out.  And, of course, open to suggestions.  I feel like I have tried everything, but maybe not.  Maybe you have something I haven't tried yet that will be just the thing to snap us out of this "situation."

And it's Friday...

It's been a week. 

Life has decided to throw us some financial curve balls.  Life?  God, in His sovereignty is more accurate, I'd say.

But anyway, it's just been a car's in the shop, expenses adding up, stuck in the house, raining outside kind of week.  And, in the midst of that, my discipleship group is reading Trusting God by Jerry Bridges (love it and him!!), and it turns out, surprise, surprise, that God uses these situations to help us practically learn His word and, you know, sanctify us.

I am memorizing Philippians 4:4-14 for discipleship group (we each pick a verse/verses to go with our accountability question, and my question has to do with anxiety--shocker, right?)  So, intellectually, I have been saying out loud and in my head over and over, "Rejoice in the Lord, always, again I will say rejoice..." but this week, God said, "Rejoice in me always--like when your car is in the shop for the second week and you are climbing the walls and the rain keeps pouring and you want to scream--again I will say, Rejoice."  I didn't always have the best attitude this week, I confess.  In fact, at times, my heart was looking rather ugly.  But at the end of the day, I really, really mean it when I say, I want His will.  Whatever that is.  That's what I want.  No matter how uncomfortable; I want His will.  Because isn't that really the safest place to be?  Smack dab in the middle of God's will.  I think so.

So that was our week, and I haven't blogged because the blogging wouldn't have been pretty.  And now I have two parenting questions.  Advice, anyone?  Please?

First, dear, sweet, stubborn, baby John has decided that he will only eat toast, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and yogurt, which I mentioned a couple of posts ago.  I mean, he is also willing to eat cookies and goldfish and things of that sort, but of the things that I am willing to give him, He will eat toast, PB and J and yogurt.  I have tried avocado, strawberries, cantaloupe, grape tomatoes, bananas (which two weeks ago, he loved), lima beans (which he finally ate some of the other night), pinto beans, black beans, green beans, carrots (has willingly eaten these before, as well), eggs, and the list could go on and on.  He refuses.  I get frustrated, I am trying to force the food into his mouth because I know if he tries it, he will most likely continue to eat it, but I can't get him to try it.  He holds his lips closed as tightly as possible, turns his face away, and hits the high chair.  I have also tried just putting things on his high chair so that he can feed himself.  He just throws the food onto the floor if he doesn't want to eat it.  It is making dinner time quite stressful for me.  And as I have mentioned before, control is one of my idols.  And in motherhood, this often looks like me trying to make sure I am doing things right, and checking off all the boxes.  So I am feeling fairly stressed over the fact that John is getting no fruits or vegetables in his diet.  None.  I feel okay about the yogurt and the sandwiches because I give him Yo-Baby organic yogurt with plenty of probiotics, and I only give him 100% whole grain bread with no high fructose corn syrup and natural peanut butter.  In other words, I am trying to "follow all of those rules," but no fruits or vegetables.  What do I do?  And his being in the 9th percentile, makes me even more want to make sure he is eating plenty of the right foods and gaining weight the way that he is supposed to.  So...I just wonder if there is a way to make this less of a battle.  Will he outgrow this or will I be doing mealtime battles for the rest of his childhood? 

This is getting so long, that I think I will stop the post here without going into the Ada bedtime issue.  I'll save that for another day. 

But I really would love some advice or even a reality check when it comes to John's eating habits. 

p.s. I should add that John does eat other foods, like graham crackers and goldfish and cheerios, mainly to maintain my sanity and keep him from screaming.  He also eats the free cookie at Publix, so I willingly confess that my kids eat lots and lots of junk, but I try to make sure that the majority of what they eat is healthy, energy providing stuff.  And I should add, that I have even tried going back to baby food since he was willing to eat fruits and vegetables in that form, but of course he doesn't want baby food now.  So, that's where we are, and I am sort of throwing my hands up in frustration.  I am considering buying pediasure or something of that nature just to make sure he is getting the proper nutrients, even if they are artificial.