Life with three

I started this blog when Ada was only a few months old.  I was freshly home from what had been a career that I loved.  Scott and I were still newlyweds really, and we were a bit shell shocked by the way a newborn had shifted our universe.  It felt so hard to have that one baby.  It was so hard to have that one baby.  I was lonely and a bit baffled by motherhood.  I missed work.  I missed getting dressed every morning while it was still dark outside and driving through the city to my exit.  I missed the "careerness"  of it, and I was struggling to figure out how to fill the hours.  I knew that I wanted to be at home, but I was struggling to find purpose in the constant feed, change the diaper, burp the baby, put the baby down for a nap.

And here we are, six years later.  Six and a half years later, and it is once again hard.  But hard in such a different way.  The constant feed, burp, diaper changing is now lost in the midst of homeschooling and parenting and budgeting for a family of five rather than that family of 3.  And I feel like I hardly see Scott as we are in the trenches of parenting young children and much of life feels like tag teaming rather than running side-by-side.  I feel like my voice constantly sounds frantic.  Is that Evie crying?!  Can you grab her while I finish dinner?!  Are Ada and John fighting again?!!  where did I put the math work book?  It's lost in the gigantic pile of papers that we call the school room.  and on and on and on the frantic goes, and it's hard to stop and nurse Evie without it feeling like an inconvenience, much less find the time to talk to Scott or actually think through parenting decisions rather than just reacting to the situation at hand.

 I write all this not to say that this is good or how it should be.  Instead, I write it to say that this is the adjusting that is now taking place.  Adjusting to Ada meant figuring out what to do with what felt like too much time.  way too much time.  Silence and a quiet apartment and how do we fill our days?  And now adjusting feels like, how do we dial down the frantic?  How do we stop running around and reacting to situations and switch to purposeful parenting of three?  I know that life can still be purposeful, and I know that much of that will happen naturally as we move out of these early survival weeks into more normal, predictable weeks.  I know that I will wake up one day, and we will have adjusted.  Which is another thing that honestly makes this adjustment easier.  With Ada, I didn't know that we would certainly adjust; it just took time.  This time, I know the adjustment will come.  Scott and I say that a lot.  Think about what life will look like six months from now!  a year from now!  Not to wish away the time, but to remind ourselves to breath and not panic because this isn't the new normal.  It's not.  Of course life will be fuller, busier, and yes, more frantic, with three children instead of two, but it won't always be this frantic.  Evie will get older.  Things will settle down.  We will figure this thing out.  (With much prayer, of course!!!)

But, but, the melancholy in me feels a bit of grieving over that quiet apartment, that one baby, and the excitement we would feel when Scott got home from work (at about 5:00 versus 7:00 or sometimes 8:00).  It was simpler.  And we were so young.  Or it feels like we were so much younger.  Because, though it felt like it wouldn't happen, we did adjust, and I had all of this time to enjoy baby Ada.  Long walks and looking at her and talking to her, and even naps with her.  But though there are less of them, I still have those moments with Evie.  In the wee hours of the morning when she needs to eat and the rest of the house is sleeping.  Or late in the evening when Ada and John are finally asleep and Scott and I can finally sit down and breathe.  Those are the moments that I take the time to look at Evie, drink in the smell of her, the sounds.  Feel the weight of her in my arms--all curled up in that newborn way with her diapered bottom sticking out. 

So here we are.  So different from the first time we became parents, but also so much the same.  We are figuring this thing out.  I am praying.  A LOT.  And we are confident that we will survive this and our family will come out on top. 

I always have more that I want to blog.  Ada's ballet recital, Christmas, I started weight watchers (because that has been different too!!!  It was much easier to lose this baby weight six years ago!!), and just the general information about what Evie is like.  So maybe I will get to that.  We'll see...

Update

I want to blog about these early days.  These adjusting days.  These, welcome to our family, Evie, days.  But, there is a long list of things that need to be done each day, and I am somewhat baffled by how to get those things done, so the blog falls waaaay to the bottom of the list.

In one breath I could say that things are going surprisingly well, and I could also say that having three children is kicking my tail.  It just depends on the exact minute in the day which one I would claim.

Right now, Ada and John are watching a cartoon, which is fine because they have played all afternoon in their bedroom.  And Evie is snoozing in her room.  And Scott is even here working from home this week.  Dinner is in the crockpot.  We actually got phonics and math done today.  I even cleaned the bathroom (it was high time), and the laundry is caught up.  Well, there are a few piles that need to be put away, but it's in good shape for the most part.

But earlier?  Earlier, Evie was screaming, and I had already fed her, so I didn't even really know what she needed.  Ada and John both needed lunch, and we had not even begun to think about starting the school day even though it was noon.  The shower had been sprayed with cleaner, and then sat there soaking in the cleaner for over an hour because I couldn't get back to it.  The laundry was piled on the dining room table, and at one point I had tears rolling down my face as I stirred the oh-so-healthy lunch of boxed mac and cheese.  In that moment, I couldn't figure out how to even find the time to breathe with three kids much less do anything else on my list. 

In other words, it's just one step at a time.  And we are making it.  Sort of.

Let me do a quick summary of the past three weeks.  She's three weeks today!!

The day I got home from the hospital, I started getting sick.  I ended up with a bad case of bronchitis?  something in my lungs/deep cough/sore throat/completely lost my voice/ basically did not feel well, and that was completely separate from the recovering from the C-section, dealing with normal post-partum healing. 

My mom was here through Thanksgiving, and then because I was sick and Scott was working long hours at work, I went back to Alabama with her to get one more week done before I had to be on my own with all three.  During those weeks with my mom, Evie was basically unhappy unless nursing.  When I say she was nursing all the time, she was nursing ALL THE TIME.  If she was awake, she was nursing.  I was her pacifier, basically.  So, this past Friday at her two week doctor's appointment (she was older than two weeks), I said, "what do I do?!!!"  And he encouraged me to keep trying the pacie, let her "cry-it-out" for just about 3 minutes at a time, and try to stretch her feedings to every two hours.  And we have done it!!!  I am sure some of it is that she is now three weeks old, and the pacifier is easier for her, but we have managed to get her on a sort of schedule, and I am so relieved.  There was no way I could nurse her that much without my mom here, so I am so thankful that the nursing issue is resolved. 

Now that she will take a pacifier and is on a much more normal eating schedule, I might say that Evie is my easiest baby of all three of my children.  Once we got her eating schedule worked out, she immediately began sleeping longer stretches at night--five hours the past two nights!!!  She still fights sleep during the day, and usually doesn't settle into a good, long nap until the afternoon, but she really is an easy, predictable baby to be only three weeks old.  And, I should add that today she has nursed every hour and half, but I am okay with that compared to the every ten or fifteen minutes we were doing.  I'm not kidding.

Ada and John are adjusting so well.  I mean, there have been the normal behavior issues that come with life being disrupted, but I really thought John was going to have a strong reaction to Evie entering the family.  He's barely even noticed.  In fact, towards the end of the pregnancy, he became so clingy, and now that Evie is here, he is back to his normal self!!  Praise the Lord.

So, all in all, I would say that things are going as well as can be expected.  Or maybe even surprisingly well.  My emotions seem to be "in check" for the most part.  I don't feel too terribly exhausted thanks to the past two nights.  And life is continuing on, though at a slower pace than normal. 

I have lots of pictures, of course, but it was nearly impossible to get these words typed.  I don't think I can take the time right now to download pictures.  That will have to happen on another day.

Bottom line, we are so thankful for Evie, and I keep trusting that over time, we will figure this thing out.  God is gracious to meet me in my needs for this day!!

Evelyn Edith Moore

Evie is here! 

She was born via C-section on Monday morning, November 18th, at 8:16 am.  I can't believe she is here, yet it already seems like she has always been here. 

This might be a super long post.  Forgive me. 

On the Monday prior to the C-section, so November 11th, I had an appointment with the specialist to check on Evie's size.  At that appointment, they predicted her weight to be 9 lbs 6 oz.  They also saw for the first time that I had an excess amount of amniotic fluid.  Because of the excess fluid, they told me that they would need to see me again on the 18th.  I was so frustrated because it just felt like there was always some new thing for them to check on.  But, anyway, I left that appointment with the information that she was 9'6, with a 10% margin of error. 

I then decided to reschedule my regular OB appointment to Wednesday so that I could meet with someone who would potentially do the C-section if that was the route we decided to go.  (The doctor that I had been meeting with was on crutches due to back surgery, and is not currently delivering babies).  So, I went to my appointment on Wednesday, with my main prayer being clarity.  I prayed lots about the decision, and I decided that God had provided these doctors, and I was going to trust their guidance.  At the appointment on Wednesday, the doctor strongly, strongly suggested that I go ahead with the C-section, and I counted that as answered prayer--the decision was made.  It turns out that the doctor I wanted was not going to be on call any this past week, so I chose another doctor, and the C-section was scheduled for Monday morning at 7:30.  I was so relieved that the decision was finally made.  To say that I had analyzed the decision to death is an understatement!!  For weeks I had been weighing the pros and cons, so to move forward with a decision was a huge weight lifted.

Now, obviously, there were advantages to that decision.  The big one being that I could plan everything.  My mom and my sister Sarah arrived Saturday, Scott was able to arrange for time off from work in advance, Scott's parents made plans to get to the hospital on Monday, we were able to enjoy a last fun night out as a family on Friday night, etc. etc.  I was trying to really look at the good things about the C-section.

My nerves were on overdrive by Sunday night of course, and I slept maybe 3 hours that night, despite going to bed very early.  We had to be at the hospital by 5:30 on Monday morning, and it felt a bit like Christmas morning, with some fear mixed in ;)  I mainly prayed for peace.  Or, begged for peace might be more accurate. 

leaving for the hospital.  That big baby still tucked into my tummy.  So glad she is out now!!

After we got checked in to the hospital, and the nurses began hooking me up to everything, I admit I did have a moment of overwhelming panic.  I kid you not, I thought I might just bolt from that bed, and take off running as fast as I could from that hospital (which would have been really slow considering my hugely pregnant self).  Then, the nurse accidentally "blew a vein" (proper terminology?), when trying to put in the iv, which then caused me to throw up, and then after the throwing up, I calmed down.  Blessing in disguise?  I think so.  I felt so much better after that.  Ha.  I promise I kept thinking if I am panicking now, how in the world will I make it through the C-section?  So the vein situation and the throwing up was a huge answer to prayer, and then I was super calm. Everything was pretty much on schedule, and by 8:00 the doctor was starting the surgery.  The insane calm stayed with me up until they actually got Evie out, which I was so thankful for, I mean, I couldn't stop saying thank you, Lord, over and over in my head. 

at the hospital, getting ready to check in.  The doors were locked, so we had to wait for about ten minutes outside.  a little crazy.

Scott getting ready for the operating room.  We were laughing so hard at his "get up."

And she's here!  After what felt like an eternity, I finally got to see her.  Scott got to see her before me, so he took some pictures and showed them to me before he finally got to bring her over to me.

not enjoying the C-section at this point ;)  They told Scott he could go with Evie to the recovery room, and as he was about to walk out, I grabbed his hand and said, "stay!!"

And we both made it to recovery, and I am so happy and relieved to be there! 

Things did take a turn after Evie was actually out and they were sewing me up.  I won't go into the details, but suffice it to say, I didn't like the C-section at that point, and I think I was having a minor panic attack or a reaction to the anesthesia or some combination of all of the above.  But, the thing is, it was all so quick.  I mean, a vaginal delivery can get a bit like that too--painful, panicky, etc. etc.--and then it's over, and it was so quick, and you have this baby.  This beautiful, miraculous baby.  So, in hindsight, the C-section was so not bad.  Really.  It was SO QUICK, and there I was in recovery by nine-something with my beautiful baby.  Plus, by then, ten minutes after surgery, the anesthesiologist had put something in my epidural that made me blissfully numb, and I was euphoric over my new baby.

It is the most blissful thing in the world to see that baby for the first time, isn't it.  I mean, I saw her in the operating room for a brief second, but to be there in that room with her, and the nurse handing her to me, and nursing her for the first time.  It is magic and a miracle and a gift, and I can't believe I got to do it for a third time.  Thank you, Lord, for undeserved gifts.  At one point in the operating room, I looked at Scott and said, "never again.  I will never do this again."  Then thirty minutes later with that brand new life in my arms, I looked at Scott and said, "I could do this a million times." 

I will stop there.  I want all the details recorded.  I do.  For me, for Evie, for the record of our little family.  So, I will be back with more. 

I will end by saying, I just adore little Evie.  Just like I adored Ada and John and still do.  But, the sweetness of those newborn sounds and faces and the way her little body just curls up.  It's too much. 

By the way, she was 9 lbs 2 oz, 20 inches long.  Precious girl.

Evie's Room

Tomorrow is my final ultrasound with the specialist.  I can't wait to see what she weighs--woo-hoo for being so near the end!  My body is over it!!!  38 weeks tomorrow.

We put the finishing touches on Evie's room this weekend.  I actually have two framed pictures of my grandmother to hang in her room, but my mom will bring those when she comes for the birth, so that will be the actual finishing touches.  I assume that the bedroom will be Evie's for at least two years before we switch her with John, so I've got time ;)

Here are a few pictures.

okay, in an ideal world, almost every drawer that you see in this room would have cute knobs.  I haven't gotten around to that.  Again, we'll call it a work in progress.  Plus, the chest of drawers, rocking chair, and cabinet that you will see could all use a fresh coat of paint/distressing, but it is what it is.  Maybe it will get done on the other side of very pregnant/newborn sleeplessness.  We'll see. 

Here we have the crib I found on craigslist, and her bedding that I ordered from amazon using birthday gift cards.  The chest of drawers started off with my parents and then went with me to college.  It's seen a lot of miles.  The wooden basket was a gift from my best friend, Amy, when I was pregnant with Ada.  Both lamps were purchased from Home Goods, my only real purchase in the room other than the crib. 

Oh, I did purchase the initial sticker hanging over her crib.  I "stalked" jane.com (do ya'll know about this daily deal site?  I love it!!) until I found what I was looking for.  So I got that for super cheap.

 The iron bed was my bed when I was little, and my parents graciously passed it on to us when we got married.  It has served as both Ada's bed and the master bed, but it will now serve as the guest bed.  I hope to one day purchase a similar iron bed before Ada and Evie are sharing a room, so that they can
each have one in a shared girl's room.  That is my "vision," anyway.  The bedding on that bed is straight from our old master bedroom.  As is the night stand.  The rocking chair came from Scott's parents, and we used it in Ada's nursery.  The curtains were hanging in the living room of our last
house.  All of the art work started out in Ada's nursery.  And the white cabinet came from Scott's parents, and it was originally in Ada's bedroom in our first house.

 
We did not paint the walls, because it is, after all, a rental, and we weren't ready to make that commitment.  I also tried to get a better picture of her bedding here, but basically it's white with gray trim, and the crib skirt has small gray polka dots.

 you can't really see it, but hanging above those drawers is a cute little framed print of Evie's name that I received at a shower this past weekend.

yay, yay, yay for diapers from the baby shower!!  I felt very loved and thankful this past weekend as friends gathered to celebrate Evie's birth.  And beside the rocking chair is another baby gift from a dear friend--a new gray and white diaper bag.  I can't help it, I really like gray and white together ;)

I am especially thankful for this room because when we found out that I was pregnant with Evie, we were prepared to squeeze her into the last rental house with no real space to call her own.  I mean, I wasn't even sure how she was going to fit into the master bedroom with us.  So, I was overwhelmed by God's provision last night when I sat in that rocking chair and looked around at her very own room. 

I was also taken back to sitting in that same rocking chair in our Vinings apartment as I waited for Ada's arrival.  It seems just yesterday that we were newlyweds, barely past our one year anniversary, waiting on Ada.  Now we are waiting on child number three.  I am sure it is hormones from the pregnancy, but I felt a bit emotional as I thought about the fact that it's been SIX YEARS since we were waiting on Ada. So, so, so cliché, but where did the time go?!!!  How did we get here?!!!

As tired as I feel, as stretched thin as my body feels, I also feel so thankful that I am doing this again.  Waiting to meet my child.  There is nothing like it.  The anticipation, the necessity to trust the Lord with every detail, the imagining what it will all be like.  One day, this season will be over, and I want to soak it in. 

And I'll post the pictures of my grandmother that will also go in the room.  As I already mentioned in a previous post, Evie's full name is Evelyn Edith after my maternal grandmother, Edith.  I asked my mom for a couple of pictures of my grandmother, Edith, as a young mom, and my mom went a step further and had the photographs framed.  They will be my absolute favorite part of the nursery, as they will remind me of the generations before--that there is purpose in what I am doing--it's not just about me, or even just about Evie, it's about generation after generation.  Lord, give me grace to do this thing you have called me to do!!  Give me eyes for the eternal!!

 Above, Grandmother with my mom and Mary Ann, my mom's sister, whom I am super close to.

And my grandmother with my mom. 

Quick Pregnancy Update

I am feeling super encouraged because today at my 37 week/almost 38 week doctor's appointment, my stomach had not grown any from last week, and the midwife spent a long time "pressing and poking" on my stomach to try to guess Evie's size.  She guesses 8ish lbs, so I am thinking the growth has slowed way down.  Just a few weeks ago, my stomach was measuring five weeks ahead, and today it was only 2 + weeks ahead, with no increase from last week.  I can handle anything less than 9 lbs, so maybe all that 10 lb talk is not going to happen.  Woo-hoo. 

I do have my final ultrasound on Monday, so we'll see, but I am feeling good about waiting this thing out and just going into labor with no more C-section talk.  Praise. the. Lord.

Lately



Okay, these pictures are not in order, but I am just going with it because I am doing good to get them on here in the first place.  And then I will feel caught up on what has been going on in the day-to-day of our life. 



 

Here we have a mixture of Halloween and a quick weekend trip to Scottsboro.  I was excited about Halloween this year because I thought we were finally in a trick-or-treating type of neighborhood.  Wrong.  We were the only trick-or-treaters in our neighborhood, and as a result, there was a very small handful of houses that were even handing out candy.  It's a perfect neighborhood for trick or treating, but I guess these days it's all about the fall festival.  I just didn't have a big fall festival in me.  As it was, walking around our neighborhood wasn't the easiest thing in the world.  But we trick-or-treated, and it was great to meet the handful of neighbors that we did meet.  Many of them knew exactly which house we were because they all said they had seen our children playing outside.  It's the hugest blessing in this house, my children play outside by themselves all the time, and I am so thankful.  John is eating better as a result (so much more exercise!!), and I think it helps them to go to bed easier.  I mean, it's just so good for kids to be outside, right?!!!

 

 

so far, our Halloween costumes consist of digging through the dress up box.  Well, I did purchase John's costume on clearance at Old Navy, but in a size too big, so that it can be worn for a couple of more years.  I like the friendliness of trick-or-treating, but I am just not going to go all out for Halloween.  I am sure at some point my kids will have stronger opinions about what they want to be, but so far they have never argued with my, "look in the dress up box," philosophy.  Ada did change her mind about seven times, but we finally settled on a ballerina/fairy?  Her main requests were a high bun and make up--done and done.

 John would not cooperate for pictures.  I kept saying, "don't you want to stand by Ada?"  he did not.

 the night before Halloween, we carved a pumpkin for the first time.  I called Scott on his way home from work and said, "guess what, Ada is counting on carving a pumpkin."  So, he did a quick run by Home Depot, and we fit in a pumpkin carving.  Our hearts weren't totally in it, but Ada loved it, as she tends to love these kinds of ritual type things, and I even roasted the pumpkin seeds, which were yummy.

 posing in scary poses (I guess?) with our half-hearted jack-o-lantern

 this is just a random picture that has already been on facebook and instagram, as have most of these, but it's such a snap shot of John's life right now.  He is so the little brother who just follows Ada's lead in their daily playing.  She wanted to play Wizard of Oz, and he was the lion, naturally ;), and if Ada was wearing high heels, shouldn't he?  Bless him.  He is such a little boy, but he is also such a little brother to a big sister.

 my one and only picture from our quick trip to Scottsboro.  My sister Kate was home from New York, and I never see her, so we did a quick weekend trip.  Here Ada and Abigail are having some strawberry milk before bed one night.  Plus, nothing beats north Alabama in the fall.  That drive home through Mentone, AL is so beautiful.  I always like to try to squeeze in an October trip home just so I can see the colors.  My part of Georgia just can't compete.

and finally, John in character.  There was a question on facebook about whether this was John having a meltdown or what.  This is actually John's monster face, which is hard to distinguish from John's meltdown face.  Both are a bit "monster-like." ;)  And there you go, October happenings.

Next big event--the newest member of our family coming very soon.  I am having a several strong contractions but nothing that will settle into any type of pattern, and this could easily go on for three weeks, so praying something happens soon.  Monday is the final ultrasound to check her size, and that means decision time.  Yikes.  Come on, Evie, just come on out. 

Pressing On in First Grade

I guess I haven't really said anything about first grade since our first day of school.  It seems it is high time for an update, as the school year is flying by, and first grade is important, after all.  It is certainly something to record in the books. 

It is amazing the difference I see in Ada at six years old versus five years old.  She will always be my first born, so she will always be the one I learn on.  Obviously, I will learn so much with all of my children, but so much is unknown with the first--the doubts are greater, the confidence less, there is no experience to back up anything.  So, when Ada, unlike her cousins and many children around her, didn't absolutely take to reading at age five, (And she didn't.  It was a struggle last year, as you all know.) I immediately assumed the worst.  I wrung my hands, searched for answers, analyzed to death, prayed, and then worried some more.  What was I doing wrong?  Would she never read?  on and on and on the thoughts went.  But I now know, that she just wasn't there yet.  I mean, I also know that she needed more in depth instruction, and I am thankful for Saxon Phonics, as it was a HUGE answer to prayer.  But I also firmly believe that she just wasn't ready.  At six, she is taking off with reading.  This is her year.  We still faithfully do our phonics lesson, and she even still struggles at times with the vowel sounds, but on we go.  And more and more and more she is reading books and words that we haven't even gone over yet.

 

(reading to me while I made lunch)

Please hear me say, though, that we still have very frustrating days.  Where I want to pull my hair out.  And scream.  And I lose all patience, and I apologize, and we keep on keeping on.  But if one day John or Evie is struggling with reading, I hope that I can take a breath and know that we will get there.  And worrying won't get us there faster. 

We are also doing Saxon first grade math, which at this point in the year is very, very easy, and is more of a kindergarten level than first grade, I think.  Or so I hear from other moms.  I suspect it will get tougher as we get farther in the book.  Right now it is very nice because we never have to struggle our way through the math lesson.  We breeze through, get it done, and move on.  That is a huge blessing during these final days of this pregnancy.  Easy is a welcome thing!

We are still finding our stride when it comes to getting our CC review done.  Some weeks we are on it.  As I get larger and more uncomfortable, the weeks where we struggle to get it done definitely outweigh the weeks where we get it done.  The good news is that age six is also helping us with this.  Ada is now in her third year of CC, and memorization is becoming more second nature to her.  Even though this is a year of pregnancy and soon new born, she is still committing that timeline song to memory, which in itself is a huge accomplishment.  If that is all the history she got this year, well it would be more than I had in all of my school years.  Even little John is beginning to sing along with the timeline.  This is also her third year of the same math facts, so those are becoming more second nature.  The point, it's true, if I trust the "system" of CC, it really does work, even when I am feeling like a slacker mom.  I think our latin and English facts are suffering the most, I am ashamed to say, but the good news is, we have the same latin facts next semester, so maybe we can catch up then.  We are also behind in our bible memory work, but we have finally gotten into a good habit of starting each school day with bible verse and history sentence copy work.  So, though we are behind on the bible verse, we finally have a system, and I think we can catch up before second semester begins. 

*I started this a week or so ago, and now I am finally back to try to get something posted.  I have actually declared this week a holiday from school for us as I tackle the list of things that must be done before Evie arrives.  The countdown is on as we are looking at a little over two weeks at the most.  Luckily, we still have CC to listen to in the car, so we are reviewing even on our "holiday," and Ada continues to take off with her reading, so she eagerly reads to me each day, which is really the most important thing for us to not slack off on.  I am prepared to go way into the summer this year in order to finish, as it is the year of a new baby, after all.