Wishy-Washy

Do you know that every Friday, I spend so much energy trying to decide whether I should go to Publix or Kroger.  Which one has the best deals this week?  Best coupon match-ups?  Do we need better deals on meat or pantry fillers?  Ahhhhhhhhh...that is me screaming in my head.  Or out loud.  It drives me crazy every week. 

Soooo, deciding where to go from here is next to impossible for me.  And by where to go, I mean where to live, where to move our lives to; it's freaking me out.  Scott and I have these conversations over and over and over again.  And then we have them again.  I start to panic.  I start to ask strings of questions very quickly, one after another.  And he calmly repeats the same lines to me.  The reasonable decisions that we have made together, already.  He sometimes says, "I thought we had talked about this already..."  And we have.  Lots of times. 

I want some guarantee that it's all going to go smoothly and that things are going to line up so nice and neat and crystal clear. 

Sometimes I just want to turn my mind off for a minute.  Just shut off all the analyzing about every stinking thing. 

And sometimes to do that, I turn on mindless television.  And sometimes I begin to recite scripture in my head.  Scripture that has nothing to do with the thing I am worrying about.  Just scripture--truth.  And my mind begins to slow down. 

During this month of Thanksgiving, I am most of all thankful for a sovereign God who is not wishy-washy.  A God who is in complete control of the entire universe.  I am thankful that I can rest in Him.