Blogging during first trimester

Jenn, my Internet friend (we've never met in person), mentioned that maybe I would blog more now that I am pregnant.  And, the thing is, I should, since the blog stands in for a baby book for John, and now the new baby. 

But, first trimester is, unfortunately, kicking my tail.  I mean, sicker than I have ever been ever with any pregnancy.  But I feel like a faker, because I am not actually throwing up, I am just nauseous all. of. the. time.  So, can I even say that I am sick?  And yet, I am.  I open my eyes in the morning, and the nausea is there until I close my eyes again at night.  And I close my eyes as soon as the kids are in bed, just to escape the nausea.  I try not to think about how many weeks are left in first trimester, and yet, I think about it all the time. 

The past few days have been an extra dose of bad because I couldn't think of one single thing that would taste good.  The thought of anything to eat or drink made me only sicker, and I knew that if I didn't eat, I would only get sicker still.  Plus, my lips were getting really dry, and I felt thirsty, so I knew I needed to drink something.  So, today, I just prayed, "please Lord, show me something that will taste good; that will bring a moment of relief."  And the thought popped into my head, orange juice!!!  I must have some orange juice.  I never drink orange juice.  Ever.  But, I was not going to argue with that answer to prayer.  And I have been drinking orange juice all day long.  I can't get enough, and I am so thankful that there is this one thing in the world that tastes good to me.  I did have some chik-fil-a chicken nuggets, with orange juice. 

There is hope, however.  I have a random infection that required an antibiotic, and I think the antibiotic has increased the sickness over the past few days, so I am hoping when the antibiotic stops, the sickness will be a bit more manageable.

And I say all this, knowing that it's really a blessing.  That it most likely means the pregnancy is going just as it should.  Plus, there are things going on in the lives of people around me that make nausea look like a day at Disney World!!!!  So, it's a small thing really, except that it's consuming every waking minute, and if bed is an option, I jump on it. 

So, I will blog again.  One day.  In the mean time I will drink my orange juice and go to bed at 8:30 and survive a few more weeks. 

p.s. I am taking zofran, but I am not sure if it makes any difference.  I am scared to not take it, though.  And I have tried saltines.  And hard, sour candy.  And sea bands.  But, I am open to suggestions.  Any suggestions. 

An Announcement

yes, it's true.  Our family of four is in the process of becoming a family of five.  I would say that we will become a family of five in late November, but this little butterbean of a baby is certainly making it's presence known already.  As babies tend to do in first trimester and every trimester after that ;)

We are thrilled to be pregnant, as it is something we have wanted for a long time now.  However, when life got a bit crazy two years ago, we put any thoughts of more children on the back burner and waited for life to calm down. 

And then we kept saying, when we move to a bigger house...then we'll have another child.

Until one day we realized we weren't moving and time was passing by, and how much space does a baby need anyway, really?  And isn't there a saying that love grows in small spaces ;)  So we're just packing in here tight as can be, and we have such a peace about it.  That's not to say that we wouldn't welcome it if God decided to suddenly, out of nowhere, lead us to a bigger house, but it doesn't feel like that is where this thing is headed. 

Instead, God is once again shaking up what my vision of normal and expected and need is, and we are planning to put this baby in the bedroom with us, and we are just making it work.  And we're excited.  Ada is excited.  John is more confused than anything, as he keeps looking for the baby under my shirt ;) 

And I'm sick.  So sick and miserable in the way that tells me my hormones are good and strong.  And my family is hanging in there with me and being patient, and Ada says she likes that I am sick because we get to eat out more than normal.  We are surviving on junk and peanut butter and jelly and as much fruit as I can get them to eat in between meals to make myself feel better.  But we will get to the other side of first trimester, and meals will return to normal, and it's okay, I keep telling myself.  And honestly I don't even feel guilty about what we are eating because I am in survival mode, big time, when it comes to food.  Survival mode. 

So we are praying for this precious baby that is growing inside of me.  That he or she would grow healthy and strong, and already, that God would turn his or heart towards Him, towards truth, towards light. 

p.s. don't my children look thrilled in the picture?  Actually Ada is thrilled, now.  Her first reaction was tears because "everything was going to be different."  But the idea has now grown on her, and she talks about the baby all the time.  I think John thinks we are joking, and of course, can't quite figure out what we even mean.

Easter

Quickly I want to post the Easter pictures ;) 

It was a good Easter. I saw it a lot through Ada's eyes this year.  Because Ada is five, I spend a lot of time explaining the gospel in kindergarten terms.  She is very familiar with the original passover story from her Jesus Storybook Bible, because things like everyone's oldest son being killed tends to stick with Ada.  She gets that God's chosen people were spared if they painted the blood of the lamb above their doors.  So lately, I have spent a lot of time explaining that the original passover was really just pointing to our ultimate need for Jesus's blood to be painted over our hearts.  I ask, "why did God pass over the homes of his chosen people?" and she knows, "because of the blood of the lamb."  "Yes!" I say, "and in the same way," instead of giving us the death we deserve, "if God looks at our hearts and sees the blood of Christ, he will 'pass over us', also because of the blood of Christ."  I don't know if those terms are really theologically correct, but I want her to get that someone had to pay for her sin.  I want her to understand the weight of our sin, and that blood and death were involved, had to be involved, and that we are incapable of taking care of our own sin.  You know, as much as a five year old can ;)

She gets it, but not exactly.  Today, John was being three and not "sweet" as we say (I spend a lot of time saying, 'be sweet, John.'), and Ada came out of their room with her "bossy" tone saying, "I told him, mom, about his sin, and how he needs Jesus to put his blood on his heart."  Ada really gets sin and our need for the gospel if we're talking about John ;)  She has a harder time pointing out her own sin and need for Christ ;)  Isn't that the truth for us all?  Or at least for me!!!

Anyway, whenever I have to break things down to a level that Ada can understand, it helps me to understand it a little bit better. 

Now for the pictures of the kids all cleaned up in their Easter best.  (many of you have already seen these on facebook)

 we took a "family picture" in shifts. ;)  And we didn't mean to coordinate in blues and yellows...

 Fun Easter lunch and egg hunt with friends after church.  John was quite intense about the hunt, as John tends to be about these kinds of things.

And once again, John is motivated to eat his meals with the promise of one piece of candy afterwards.