I had to post tonight, after my "venting and processing" post last night, to say that today God has shown me his goodness in so many tangible ways.
This morning, Jessica led the devotion at CC, talking about God being a God who sees--El Roi. That struck a chord with me, as I thought about my day yesterday, and how that is often where my frustration lies. That no one sees the day in and day out. And I was reminded, with Jessica's words, that God sees. He absolutely sees.
And after wallowing in my sin yesterday, God has shown me today that, despite that sin, he sees me in very tangible ways. That, in his kindness and mercy, he does not give me what I deserve.
Today I got a surprise paycheck at CC, which provided some padding in the budget...some breathing room. Enough that we were able to eat at Chick-fil-a guilt free on a night when I just couldn't stomach leftovers.
John was in a good mood almost all day. He smiled and laughed when I went to get him after his nap. This is rare in our house.
And tonight, when my allergies were getting the best of me. When my entire body was itching in reaction to Spring itself, and I had resigned myself to the fact that I had to bite the bullet and make a doctor's appointment and somehow work that into the schedule--at that moment, I stumbled upon a bottle of prescription allergy medicine from last season that was not expired and included a refill for this year. Apparently in the midst of my many doctor's appointments last year dealing with my random skin condition, I also got a prescription for my allergies/asthma. I really was overjoyed that I had access to medicine without having to make the doctor's appointment. I was up all night last night (five times I moved Ada back to her bed, and five times I woke up to find her beside me again. That girl is stubborn, I tell you), unable to sleep because of my allergies--not to mention Ada snoring in my ear and pushing me out of my bed. So, as I was facing another long night, it was such a relief to randomly find some medication that is already making me feel so much better (over the counter claritin is just not cutting it, and I do realize just how cool I sound going on and on about my allergies ;) )
Now, if tomorrow goes south fast, I pray that God will remind me that he sees. He sees it all, and He will strengthen me.