Thursday, August 19, 2010

Confession

May I confess something.

I am experiencing a bit of blog reading burn out.  Or, to be more clear, I am feeling overwhelmed by all of the blogs that I read. 

Let me explain.

My reader is full of several types of blogs--home design, fashion, fashion on a budget, home design on a budget, motherhood, homeschooling, biblical womanhood, couponing, eating real food...you get the drift.  And then there are the blogs of friends, which I am not burned out on, because those feel like getting really fun e-mails everyday.

Well, at the end of the day, when I sit down to catch up on all of these blogs, I begin to hear these voices in my head--everyone has cuter houses than you, cuter clothes than you, cleaner houses than you, more nutritional menus, more money saved, etc. etc. etc.  And I begin to look around at my tiny little attempt to get it all done as a stay-at-home mom, and I even like to think, get it done well, and I begin to feel like a failure.

Lies. Lies. Lies.

Some times--lots of times, even-- all of those blogs encourage me, but on a down day, on a day when the house seems particularly messy or Ada seems particularly disobedient or when we had frozen pizza for dinner and we went over budget at the grocery store, the blogs seem to magnify my shortcomings.  Can anyone relate?

Today is one of those days, so I think tomorrow, and the rest of this night, I am going to walk away from the blog reading for a while.  Take an accurate look at what I need to work on around here, and get to it without comparing.  (Which by the way, I don't think any of those blogs are intending to do that--this is simply my sin rising to the surface!!!)

And, before I typed all of this, I also called my mom for a little pep talk, and it helped.  She reminded me that I am not the only person in the world with a messy house.  (Earlier today, I had convinced myself that I was).  This blog world is a bit of a double edged sword.  I love blogging because it makes me feel so much less isolated, but at the same time, it gives my sin of comparison more opportunity to rise to the surface!! 

Oh Lord, give me grace and mercy.  Speak truth to me!!

10 comments:

Sarah Garner said...

Girl, I am totally there. I have sat with tears streaming down my face at all the girls with more friends, cooler houses, more dates with husbands, better clothes, insert biggest insecurity here. Like you said, lies. It is a double edged sword. But overall, I think it is encouraging too. Sometimes there are just down days...and the tears flow :)

Lindsay said...

I hear ya too. I mean all the stuff I decorate my house with is yard sale finds or something I convince Joey to build for me, haha. So I find myself coveting some things I see on HGTV or blogs or whatever. And then, like you said, I have those days where I'm content with what I have and where God has our family. So those sinful days just make those content days that much better, in comparison. (and I also feel ya with the messy house, especially compared to my sister and mom. I don't have the excuse of kids, but I do have dog hair that makes up most of it!)

Milla said...

I completely agree, LB. You're smart to see it for what it is. I went through recently and deleted all blogs except friends and a couple of my favorite recipe sites. Why follow blogs that set unrealistic goals and make me want something I can't have? I just don't do it anymore.

Praying for you this morning, friend.

Amy said...

You have no idea what my place looks like- it's a constant mess. Combine an extremely messy husband w/ no time to really clean and pick up and it's disaster zone- all the time! I just try to ignore it but it constantly bothers me all the time.

Deanna said...

I have actually read several bloggers lately talking about similar feelings. I have to remind myself that I am only getting a snapshot of someone else's life...the part they want me to see. I know I crop my pictures so that the worst of the mess is hidden...I CAN'T be the only one! : )

On the same note, though, I find that the blogs I enjoy reading the most are the ones that show life as it really is. It would be easy to post cute pictures and funny little stories all the time, but the posts that talk about how challenging life/marriage/motherhood can be are the ones that stick with me. We ALL get overwhelmed at times, and those who are brave enough to admit it are the ones I feel like I have the most in common with... that's where my online friendships have been forged.

Did anything in that jumbled comment make any sense? : )

Nicole said...

My mother has told me there is NO way to keep your house spotless with kids in it. Plus how boring would it be for the kids for no toys to be laying around.

Calis said...

I agree with Deanna. Since I work with pictures all the time I KNOW people CROP CROP CROP! and literally just show you what is the best and the brightest and the cleanest and the coolest. Not all bloggers are as real as you are. They don't share the downs along with the ups. I say you are doing a fabulous job with Ada and John and with balancing a load that I constantly wonder "how does LB do that?!" "She's like Wonder Woman". So even tho you are going thru a little bit of a valley, you can always know that there's someone out there who is impressed by all that you accomplish. And I am certain I'm not the only one. Thanks for keeping it real on your blog. Hang in there. Tomorrow is a new day :o)

Kathy said...

I totally can relate, too - especially in the house and clothing department (I know no other store than Target!)!!!! You know what helps me every. single. time? Thinking about my grandparents and how each set raised 5 children in a 3 bedroom house (or smaller), budgeting all the while, loving their children, toys taking over, messes left untouched, not even knowing what the internet would be, much less a blog ... and, now, looking at my parents and my aunts and uncles and HOPING I can do just as good of a job with my children... WITHOUT clothes from anthropologie and housewares from restoration hardware! Then, I realize I have it all! A loving husband and family - I mean, how blessed are we?!?!?!?

Lauren said...

Just know that you are not alone in the mess and desiring better at times. I struggle with these issues too. I've had several times were I have had to "unplug" for a time and let God speak truth to me. I recently spent the evening with a friend whose home was far more humble than mine. Yet when I walked through it and saw all the order and care she had put into it I was greatly humbled. I don't expect to have a perfectly neat home with kids, but I do know that it is my resposiblity to be content in whatever state I'm in at the time. (Phil 4:11-12) It's something we have to remind ourselves each and everyday.

Mary said...

Laura Beth, I can't add anything to what others have already said, just wanted to say that I definitely can relate. One definitely has to extract the useful but toss out what just heaps more weight on our shoulders. I have trouble remembering sometimes that nobody can do it all, we can't be everything we want to be all in one season of life. Sometimes we have to give ourselves grace in one area because we (or God) is requiring more of us in another area, it is just keeping it in balance and perspective that gets tricky! Been there, and am still there! : )