Thursday, December 30, 2010

On the Brink of 2011

We are staring into the face of another year.

I always feels so much pressure this time of year.  Here we are again, a chance to start over, try again, hope to get it right this time.  Maybe, just maybe, I'll get it right this time.

On the one hand, I love the idea of a new beginning.  On the other hand, I dread the thought of failing once again.  Failing to meet the goals, cross the finish line, follow through.  There are so many words spinning around in my brain-- budget and weight loss and homemaking and parenting and educating and the list goes on and on and on and on, until I feel dizzy.

There are simple things--dealing with Ada and the potty (you catch my drift?) and getting the walls painted.  Why are these two things so hard?  It seems like they should be so simple.

And then there are the major things that start with my heart.  That start with my getting gut honest before the Lord and asking Him to dig deep into my heart and change things there.  The rest will just be overflow.  The thing is, there are a million things I could focus on, a million things that could change, but I just finished reading Radical, just in time for the New Year, and he has great suggestions for what I can focus on this year, and his suggestions matter.  I mean matter more than those five pounds I am dying to lose.  (I gained 20 less pounds with John, and yet these last five pounds are hanging on much longer than they did with Ada!!)  So there is one place to start, maybe even with just one word.  A word like intentional.  I pray that my days would be intentional.  Prayer and gospel and bible driven days.  I believe that if I am intentional and prayer driven and focused, that the smaller things will fall into place, and if they don't, it will be because I learn that they just don't matter that much.

So excuse me while I ramble all over this computer screen, but in these last days of 2010, my mind is speeding along trying to figure out a way to failure-proof 2011, and..."it ain't happenin."

 So, I will start with prayer and His word.  There is January's resolution, just start with prayer and His word.  (I have decided to take this year's resolutions one month a time, maybe one morning at a time?)

By the way, I still want to post pictures of Christmas.  I will get to it, maybe before 2011?

1 comment:

Mary said...

Let me just say....I understand, and I am right there with you. Another book I want to read...