Sunday, July 27, 2008

Painting pictures of Egypt

I returned to Auburn this past weekend to celebrate the coming birth of my best friend's baby girl, and as I drove into town, waves of nostalgia swept over me. I was drowning in nostalgia. Auburn feels like coming home. I suppose it always will. My parents house feels like home, but, for some odd reason, Scottsboro has never felt like home to me. If I could move my parents' house to Auburn, that would be home to me. Every square inch of that place holds some kind of memory for me, and I was bombarded by those memories all at once--choking me, almost, as I passed the sign letting me know that I was entering Lee County. And, to add to the nostalgia, most of my closest college friends, roommates, bridesmaids, were all together for lunch at Amsterdam and a baby shower afterward, and with a gathering like that comes much conversation about old memories and stories that we love to tell. And again, I don't know if my hormones are going crazy or what, but throughout the weekend, I had tears always at the surface, threatening to spill over, exposing all of that nostalgia. It was such a refreshing weekend to be with old friends, but I was sad, of course, because I left Scott and Ada behind. It was a couple's shower, so most of the husbands were there except for mine. I always want Scott and Ada with me because I never feel quite myself when I am separated from them, but it just wasn't practical to bring Ada when I was the one hosting the shower. And, while in Auburn, especially those first few moments when I was so overwhelmed by memories, I have this longing to return, if only for a day or two, to that old college life, but as I headed up 75 this morning on my way back to Atlanta, I couldn't wait to be home. Home in McDonough. Funny how that works, and it reminded me of the lyrics of a favorite song by Sara Groves. Enjoy...

I don’t want to leave here I don’t want to stay
It feels like pinching to me either way
The places I long for the most
Are the places where I’ve been
They are calling after me like a long lost friend
It’s not about losing faith It’s not about trust
It’s all about comfortable
When you move so much
The place I was wasn’t perfect
But I had found a way to live
It wasn’t milk or honey
But then neither is this

CHORUS: I’ve been painting pictures of Egypt Leaving out what it lacked
The future seems so hard And I want to go back
But the places that used to fit me Cannot hold the things I"ve learned
And those roads closed off to me While my back was turned

The past is so tangible I know it by heart
Familiar things are never easy to discard
I was dying for some freedom But now I hesitate to go
Caught between the promise And the things I know

BRIDGE: If it comes too quick I may not recognize it Is that the reason behind all this time and sand? If it comes too quick I may not appreciate it Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?


jane said...

great lyrics!
i really do like sara groves... i should get another one of her cds...

The Slagleys said...

I love that song, and it rings true so often! I know how you feel when you are with close friends in the place where you became who you are- you feel like that should be home. But it is so nice to remember that God has us right where He wants us and someday soon we will miss the days we have now. I look at Kate daily and miss the tiny baby stage, but at that stage I was dying for this one.

Milla said...

That's so true! Wow, what great lyrics. I also know that feeling of having tears welling up, about to overflow at any second. I've had that quite a bit lately. Thanks for sharing - what a blessing! (and I need to get some more Sara Groves too!)

Amanda said...

Oh I have tears reading that post LB. I feel the exact same way coming to Auburn. If it is your hormones then I have the same problem. When I'm away from Auburn, I seem to be fine. But once I drive down college street that lump in my throat emerges again. All of those wonderful memories flooding into my mind.
I hope you all had a wonderful time and took some pictures. I'm sorry I had to miss it! Amsterdam's sounds amazing right now :)