In my new found space out in the early morning air, I have found much needed time to pray as my feet hit the pavement over and over again. It's been refreshing, to say the least.
The thing that I pray the most, that I ask for over and over is that we--Scott, me, Ada, John, any others that he might bless us with--that we would love Him most. That we would love Him and His word and that the loving would direct all of our steps. That our whole lives, every minute, would be surrendered to Him, to His will, not ours.
Lately she says a lot, "I want Jesus to come to my house. I want him to play with my kitchen and in my pool, and I want to ride on his shoulders." I didn't know how to explain that though we can't see him, He is here, so I called my mom. Mom got on the phone with Ada and explained that when she is much older (Lord willing, she has many, many years left here), older even than Near and Mae-Mae (mom's words, not mine. I don't think they are old!!) that she will go to Heaven and she will see Jesus with her eyes, face-to-face, but until then He is here and we can talk to Him the same as if we could see Him. Well, she listened hard to those words, and then it was settled. She now will say, "Hey, Jesus," to the air and smile really big, and I say, "yes, He is here." But today, that wasn't enough, I suppose.
We were riding in the car, on the way home from the pool, all quiet and tired, and all of a sudden she says, "mommy, I am older now, can I go to Heaven today? I want to see Jesus today. Please say yes, mommy." I said, "no, baby, not today, as far as I know, today is not the day, but remember you can talk to Him anyway, even though you can't see Him" and she said, "but please say yes, mommy, I am older now." I once again explained, that we hope she will be much, much older before she sees Jesus. Oh I selfishly hope that she has many years to go, but I also hope that she never stops longing for Him and for her true home.
I pray it again, "Please Lord, give her a heart to know and love you and your word. Let her always long for more of you!!!"