Sunday, January 23, 2011


I am sitting in a living room with no paint splotches on the walls.  It's been a long time coming, but Scott worked hard all weekend long, and my walls are finally painted.  I am beyond relieved that it is finally done.

The breakfast room and hallway are next on the agenda.

As for me, what was I doing all weekend?  Dealing with Ada.

Things just keep escalating with that girl.  I am absolutely at the end of myself in that situation.  Will she ever be potty trained?  I don't know.  Tomorrow will mark week 3 of miralax, and tonight she went to bed in panties not diapers.  She managed to "hold it" despite the miralax.  To say that I don't know what to do is an understatement.  My next step is to take her to the pediatrician. 

The longer she goes without conquering her fear of the toilet, the more fear she experiences in other areas.  The fear is starting to paralyze her.  She doesn't even seem like herself, and she clings to me constantly, wanting me to hold her all of the time (which obviously I can't do).  Tonight I told Scott that I haven't felt this claustrophobic since she was a newborn.  Last Thursday night when it was time for me to leave for Bible Study, Scott literally peeled her off of me, as she screamed as loud as she possibly could. 

Again, I just don't know what to do.  I say it over and over to Scott. 

I lay down with her tonight because she was feeling a bit traumatized about going to sleep without a diaper.  As she was falling asleep, I just hugged her close to me and prayed for her.  I would love it if God used this situation to draw her to himself.  And I am sure that He is somehow using it to sanctify me.  I have to confess that I find myself feeling frustrated with God, which I know is ridiculous.  It just seems like it would be so easy for Him to step in to the situation and fix it.  And in the whole scheme of life, potty training is not that big of a deal, I know, but it feels huge to me right now.  Anyway...I just want to be transparent and say that a lot of sin is coming to the surface as I deal with this situation.  I find myself frustrated with Ada, with Scott, with John (who knows why), and like I just said, even God.  The tension is high around here.  I repeat.  I don't know what to do.

Okay, that's the end of this post.  And I will close with a reminder of the exciting thing that happened this weekend--Scott painted the living room!!!!!!! 


Jessica said...

SO EXCITED your den is painted! Praying for you now in the potty training situation.

Jennifer said...

I'm so sorry about Ada. I don't even know what else to say. I'll pray for you, and for her, but I'm so sorry that you're having to go through this. I'm so sorry SHE is having to go through this!

Hank and Anna Uzzell said...

thanks so much for your honesty, Lb! sooo, can i call you when it is our time to potty train?:)

Mary said...

YAY On the painting, I would love to see pics! You have gone and done it, so now I HAVE to go on and do it!
About sorry, friend, I will pray right now.