And the funny thing is, setting resolutions or goals or whatever you want to call them simply provides another opportunity for the truth of the gospel to shine through. It's inevitable that I will fail at meeting my goals. It's inevitable, and that is why we have the gospel. I am absolutely flawed, absolutely a failure, absolutely nothing but filth--even my best try, my best "works," are nothing but filthy rags--I will ALWAYS come up short. And that is when I fall flat on my face before God and beg for Jesus to do it for me. Literally.
Lately, the Lord is really teaching me that He has to do all the good. I am so sick of making goals and not reaching them that lately, I am simply going to straight to God with it. For example, I am sick of a messy house. Sick of it. I would love to have a wonderful routine that keeps my house clean and organized and functional instead of chaotic. But I have tried one thing after another only to end back at the starting point. So lately, I am simply praying about it, asking the Lord to show me the next step. And then, here is the kicker, I am obeying. I usually don't want to. I find myself praying, and then a thought pops into my head--now would be a great time to fold clothes or unload the dishwasher or exercise or read your bible or whatever thing you want to fill in the blank--and I usually want to do nothing but sit on the couch, but I am obeying. I am praying, listening, and obeying (and sometimes not obeying, obviously), but my point is that I am tired of the goal setting and the goal failing, so I am simply taking it to the Lord. And even praying that I would obey--you know? Just a whole lot of prayer. Desperate prayer.
So...how is this looking practically? Well this past Friday I attacked my master bedroom which is covered floor to ceiling with dirty and clean clothes--who knows which is which. I mean, really, it's a sight. But I just started chipping away at it, and Ada and John played with the suitcase that is still sitting on my floor--my suitcase from Christmas travels.
So, I worked on my room, and then, aware of the beautiful sunshine outside my window, we headed out for a quick walk around the neighborhood. Fresh air and sunshine is so good for the brain, isn't it?
So, we finished our walk, headed back inside, and went back to work in the bedroom. This time around, John entertained himself in the armoire.
So, what is the point of all of this rambling? I guess just to say that I have thrown the list out the window--sort of--and instead I am just bringing a few requests before the Lord, often, without ceasing. Tonight I wish so badly that I could wake up before the kiddos and exercise. Just 20 minutes. It seems, from my perspective, that it would be a good thing for everyone. But Ada ends up in my bed and wakes up when I do or the alarm doesn't go off or whatever else. So, I am just praying that it would happen. I would love that quiet time in the morning, and the exercise is so good for my brain (and my body, obviously). And I also wish that I could finish cleaning my bedroom tomorrow. Lord, help me. What else is there to say? Just help me, Lord. Do what you want with my life and help me to glorify you in every moment--even in the dishes and the laundry and the exercising. The daily grind.
Sorry for such a long, rambling post. Is anyone even still reading? I would certainly not blame if you if you quit a while back. But...I wanted to update on the goals for the year. Diapers are gone, though, so check that one off the list. THANK YOU, LORD.
Okay, Monday, bring it on.