Feel the need to update

It's 11:00 pm at the end of another long day, so as usual, this might not be the clearest post ever. Plus tonight I am feeling somewhat emotional over the entire situation. Basically, I want my little boy at home with me so that I can be mom to both him and Ada, rather than switching back and forth. Tomorrow morning I will find out if he can come home on Sunday, which would be the best news in the whole world. Please pray for a good report.

John decided not to nurse tonight, but I am not so discouraged. I just want to get him home and we will go from there. My milk has come in, however, and I find myself a bit miserable at times. (If there happens to be any males that read this blog, I apologize for all the nursing talk). I have that wonderful hospital grade medela pump that also got me through the first month with Ada, so I do have a way of getting milk to John even when I am not at the hospital to feed him myself.

I think he's doing well today. The only thing we are waiting on is for him to coordinate eating and breathing. They took him off that one nose medication today, and they are still having to give him a small bit of oxygen when he eats. He just gets too excited and gulps it down while forgetting to breath. If his nose would just clear up, I think we would be in the clear.

Scott and I almost got stuck at the hospital tonight as the snow kept falling and falling. We left sooner than planned in hopes to make it home before the roads got icy. Poor Ada is really feeling the effects of this abnormal lifestyle we are living, and I am trying to be at home for chunks of time each day. I was here when she woke up this morning, and I was able to bathe her and put her to bed tonight. I know she needs a bit of stability in her life right now. She did a lot of hysterical crying tonight at bedtime, so I know that her emotions are somewhat unstable now. Who can blame her? Mine are certainly unstable;) At one point, I just cried along with her as I felt so out of control of this entire situation. But aren't we always ultimately out of control? Again, intellectually I know that the Lord holds each of my children in the palm of His hand and loves them more than I can even begin to imagine, but emotionally (and hormonally;)) I want to be in control of my children, and in this situation, I am NOT.

I took lots of pictures tonight so that I can give you a glimpse of what our days are like in the NICU, but I am too tired to download them right now. In fact, I think I have to end this and head to bed. I am planning to get a really good night of sleep tonight, because I continue to hit walls of exhaustion. Isn't it amazing what a good night of sleep can do?

Thanks for all of your prayers, and Bethany, if you are reading--thanks for the meal tonight. I can't wait to eat that yummy casserole. And the bow was just adorable. Loved it.

And Sarah L. G., you have been so thoughtful over the past few days. In fact, we enjoyed a Chili's lunch before the hospital today, thanks to you. And I did almost call to see if we could stay at your house tonight, but if possible I wanted to get home to Ada. (I got your message on our way home).

Again, praying, praying, praying that the doctor says that John can, in fact, come home on Sunday. What a sigh of relief that would be. Good night, everyone!!