Thursday Update

I'm here for the daily update.

I am actually at home for now because I hit a wall of exhaustion at the hospital, and my mom and John's nurse encouraged me to come home for a bit. The NICU waiting room is not conducive to a recovering mom. I was washing pumping accessories in a public restroom and letting them drain in the waiting room chair. And dealing with recovery and all that it involves in a public restroom--also not fun.

After I type this and cuddle with Ada for a few more minutes, I am headed upstairs for a nap.

I had a good conversation with John's night nurse and his doctor, and I feel a little more clear about what is going on and what needs to happen for John to come home.

Okay, first of all, he no longer has to be under the lights for the jaundice. Yea. That's check mark number one.

Second, the x-rays of his lung continue to look good, though there is still some healing that needs to happen.

Third, he is having a hard time coordinating his eating and breathing. Last night he apparently turned blue and needed oxygen every time he ate, so he has to work that out before he can come home. By the way, he is no longer latching on at all. Which is emotional for me, but I am just concentrating on doing what needs to be done to get him home and then we will deal with nursing.

John's nose is very congested--not like a cold--but swollen, maybe, from all the suction they had to use right after he was born. He is using flonase and another medication to clear that up. He can come home with the flonase but not the other medication, so they have to get him off of that. The nurse thinks that the main reason he is no longer latching on is because he can't breathe through his nose, which is also why he is turning blue when eating with a bottle. Hopefully, that problem will fix itself. I am prepared for some frustrating weeks of nursing, but I am praying that we will eventually be successful.

He is still on the antibiotic for the infection (which they think is pneumonia), but his CPR numbers, which indicate infection, have gone down, so the antibiotics seem to be working. Again, he can go home with antibiotics, but they don't think he will need to.

So the main thing--he needs to coordinate eating and breathing and he needs to get off the one nasal medication. The doctor predicts that he will come home on Sunday or Monday, but again, this depends on so many things.

Of course I am having to regroup and figure out what the next few days will look like as we travel to and from the hospital everyday. It was very emotional to leave the hospital with empty arms. I didn't like feeling so far away from him.

Anyway, again, I know I am giving lots of details, but it also helps me to process what the doctor said to write it all down. If not, I have trouble keeping it all straight.

I am resting in the fact that the Lord ordained each of John's days, including these spent in the NICU. He knew the details of this birth long before they came to be, so this is clearly what needed to happen.

Now, I am going to sleep.