Five Years

Yesterday marked five years since my wedding day. 

Yes, it's true, we share an anniversary with the Royal Couple.  I won't lie, I'm a little excited about that.

I haven't really thought through what I am going to say to commemorate this anniversary.  I mean, it's been a crazy week, right?!!  And my mind is a bit heavy with all that has gone on.  Mainly I am feeling thankful for my home and the safety of my family.  And I feel a bit shocked by the results of Wednesday's weather.  I am even wrestling with some things in my mind, since I fully understand that God is in control of the weather--complete control.  And I KNOW that he is sovereign and good.  But it still makes me wrestle. 

And at the same time as this enormous tragedy, God is also saying no to a lot of our personal, family prayers.  Things so small compared to what happened on Wednesday, but things that I know he could change in the blink of an eye, and He chooses not to.  I am wrestling with that as well. 

Intellectually, I know that God is good and that much that God chooses to do is beyond the realm of my understanding.  He is God, after all.  He is infinite in wisdom and understanding--and I am not. 

So what does this have to do with celebrating five years of marriage? 

Well, I am sure that ya'll have all heard Andrew Peterson's song, Dancing in the Minefield.  It's so great, right?  You know what I love about it?  That hard times in marriage are the norm.  If they weren't the norm, he couldn't write a successful song about marriage being hard.  Literature of any kind, or art of any kind, is based on universal truths.  This must mean that marriage being hard is a universal truth.  Are you following me?  And I know that this makes it sound like my marriage is so hard, and in fact, it's not.  As far as marriages go, Scott and I have a fairly easy one.  Our relationship has always been fairly easy.  But it's daily.  It is so daily.  And it is reality, and it can get pretty ugly at times.  So, I love these words especially...

Cause we bear the light of the son of man
So there's nothing left to fear
So I'll walk with you in the shadow lands
Till the shadows disappear
Cause he promised not to leave us
And his promises are true
So in the face of all this chaos baby
I can dance with you

This is what I know is true.  These past five years haven't been, well, smooth sailing.  They just haven't.  And Scott has seen some ugly parts of me.  But we are still going strong.  And we are just beginning, you know?  God only knows what the years have in store for us.  So, how do I know that our marriage will stand the test of time--"because HE promised not to leave us, and HIS promises are true"--and I am married to a man who takes me back to this truth.  God's grace is absolutely sufficient.  It is even sufficient for times of wrestling with what I know to be true.  And God has given me such a gift in Scott. 
 
Scott is kind to me and patient.  Always kind and patient.  It's why I loved him in the first place, and it's why I am so thankful for him now.  He is the absolute right match for me.  He is.  And there is much about our life circumstances that I wish I could change, but how gracious God is to give me this man to lead me through it. 
 
So, Scott, I echo Andrew Peterson, and say this to you,
 
So lets go dancing in the minefields
Lets go sailing in the storms
Oh lets go dancing in the minefields
And kicking down the doors
Oh lets go dancing in the minefields
And sailing in the storms
Oh this is harder than we dreamed
But I believe that's what the promise is for
That's what the promise is for

five years ago at our rehearsal dinner, not really having one clue what we were getting into;)

And this one I love so much more than the rehearsal dinner picture because it's real life.  One of those defining marriage moments--finally bringing John home from the hospital. 

Happy five years, Scott.  I am praying for many, many more.