A lesson in diligence

Good morning.

It's 5:45 am, and I have been up since 5. Ada woke up crying at 5 am, and after I comforted her and put her back down, I was having trouble falling back asleep. I have been wanting to get up early all week, and I have been unable to for one reason or another. As I was lying there, I thought, "here's your chance. You are awake anyway; why not get up and start the day on a quiet, peaceful note."

So here I sit, the fire going, tea by my side, and my bible open to Proverbs.

I am a worrier by nature. If I allow it, it can consume me. This weekend because of different circumstances, the worry has threatened to consume me. This happens from time to time. I think it's a result of a build up of junk in my heart that I have not dealt with. Then, when it gets to be too much to bear, I stop being able to sleep. And I find myself falling before the throne of God, desperate for him to wipe the slate clean, desperate for him to restore my relationship to Him. This morning I needed to crawl up beneath the shadow of his wing and find comfort there. I am a kind of tired that sleep cannot cure, only time with Him will bring me much needed rest.

As I began to pray this morning, I knew that I needed to be confronted with truth before I could even voice a prayer, so I began to look up verses on worry. I found the obvious ones, ones that I wrote down in order to commit to memory

Cast your burden upon the Lord and He will sustain you: He will never allow the righteous to be shaken. Psalm 55:22

Trust in him at all times, o people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge. Psalm 62:8

So, I began to be comforted by those words, but I think the Lord knew I needed something more concrete. When I begin to worry about a situation, I often feel the need to do something, and this morning I find myself asking the Lord, "but what can I do to fix this?" And, he lead me to these verses, which spoke right to my heart

Whoever is slothful will not roast his game but the diligent man will get precious wealth. Proverbs 12:27

Better to be lowly and have a servant than to play the great man and lack bread. Proverbs 12:9

The hand of the diligent will rule while the slothful will be put to forced labor. Proverbs 12:24

Whoever works his land with have plenty of bread but he who follows worthless pursuits lacks sense. Proverbs 12:11

After reading these verses, the word diligent kept standing out to me, so I looked up the word on dictionary.com to make sure I had the exact definition.

Diligent--1. A constant effort to accomplish something; attentive and persistent in doing anything
2. done or pursued with persevering attention; painstaking
3. marked by painstaking effort

so then I looked up painstaking

Painstaking--characterized by taking pains or trouble

Okay, so the above bible verses might not seem like the obvious choice of verses that might bring comfort. I mean, "whoever is slothful will not roast his game?" but they spoke to me. I often become overwhelmed by the task at hand--budgeting and couponing, cooking and cleaning, taking care of Ada and working to raise her in such a way that she will desire a relationship with the Lord above all else, and sometimes I just want to quit, find an easy way out. Or at least a shortcut. But think about, in biblical times, I imagine that roasting game took forever. You kill the animal, you roast it over a fire. I imagine that takes patience, and the slothful man is apparently not willing to do it. But the diligent man, he will get precious wealth. He gets the rich meat, the reward of his patience and hard work and diligence. This morning the Lord spoke plain as day to me--he is asking me to be diligent. He is telling me that in all things--keeping my home, staying on the budget, disciplining and loving and raising and discipling Ada, I must, must, must be diligent. Pay attention to detail. To the point of pain. I am so encouraged this morning because I wanted a concrete answer, and I feel like I received one. I don't think he is giving me some big revelation about a new thing that I must do. Instead, I am reminded that this job is a daily thing. I must daily make choices to persevere, pay attention to detail, and constantly make tiny effort after tiny effort to accomplish the goals we have set for our family.

Oh the peace that comes when I rest in Him and His word and His truth.